|
| |
Body Language Magic
How to Read and Make Body Movements for Maximum Success
Thank you for your purchase!
You have master resale rights to this eBook; you may resell
it and keep
100% of the profits as long as you do not modify the content.
If you would like to get more FREE eBooks that you
can resell
CLICK HERE!
If you would like to see the premium eBooks I have on offer
CLICK HERE!
eBook content
provided by Info Product Blowout!
If you want content to create your own eBooks just like
this one
CLICK HERE!
DISCLAIMER AND TERMS OF USE AGREEMENT
The author and publisher have used their best efforts in preparing
this report.
The author and publisher make no representation or warranties
with respect to
the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the
contents of this report.
The information contained in this report is strictly for educational
purposes.
Therefore, if you wish to apply ideas contained in this report,
you are taking full
responsibility for your actions.
EVERY EFFORT HAS BEEN MADE TO ACCURATELY REPRESENT THIS
PRODUCT AND IT'S POTENTIAL. HOWEVER, THERE IS NO GUARANTEE
THAT YOU WILL IMPROVE IN ANY WAY USING THE TECHNIQUES AND
IDEAS IN THESE MATERIALS. EXAMPLES IN THESE MATERIALS ARE
NOT
TO BE INTERPRETED AS A PROMISE OR GUARANTEE OF ANYTHING.
SELF-HELP AND IMPROVEMENT POTENTIAL IS ENTIRELY DEPENDENT
ON THE PERSON USING OUR PRODUCT, IDEAS AND TECHNIQUES.
YOUR LEVEL OF IMPROVEMENT IN ATTAINING THE RESULTS CLAIMED
IN
OUR MATERIALS DEPENDS ON THE TIME YOU DEVOTE TO THE
PROGRAM, IDEAS AND TECHNIQUES MENTIONED, KNOWLEDGE AND
VARIOUS SKILLS. SINCE THESE FACTORS DIFFER ACCORDING TO
INDIVIDUALS, WE CANNOT GUARANTEE YOUR SUCCESS OR
IMPROVEMENT LEVEL. NOR ARE WE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF YOUR
ACTIONS.
MANY FACTORS WILL BE IMPORTANT IN DETERMINING YOUR ACTUAL
RESULTS AND NO GUARANTEES ARE MADE THAT YOU WILL ACHIEVE
RESULTS SIMILAR TO OURS OR ANYBODY ELSE'S, IN FACT NO
GUARANTEES ARE MADE THAT YOU WILL ACHIEVE ANY RESULTS FROM
OUR IDEAS AND TECHNIQUES IN OUR MATERIAL.
The author and publisher disclaim any warranties (express
or implied),
merchantability, or fitness for any particular purpose. The
author and publisher
shall in no event be held liable to any party for any direct,
indirect, punitive,
special, incidental or other consequential damages arising
directly or indirectly
from any use of this material, which is provided "as is",
and without warranties.
As always, the advice of a competent professional should be
sought.
The author and publisher do not warrant the performance, effectiveness
or
applicability of any sites listed or linked to in this report.
All links are for information purposes only and are not warranted
for content,
accuracy or any other implied or explicit purpose.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction
4
Chapter 1: Reading the Signs
6
Chapter 2: Mirroring
21
Chapter 3: Body Language in Negotiations
25
Chapter 4: Body Language in Selling
28
Chapter 5: Body Language in Job Interviews
34
Chapter 6: Body Language in Meetings
40
Chapter 7: Body Language in Flirting
42
Conclusion
49
Introduction
Have you heard of the word Body English? I remembered one
basketball
game when the sportscaster said, "Air Jordan used
a little Body English to coax
that ball into the hoop, as he released the free throw."
He meant that the player
moved his hips sideways, as if using mind control, so that
the ball will go through
the basket.
Body English is just one of the myriad of examples of body
language that
we do and apply to our lives every now and then, consciously
or unconsciously.
What is Body Language?
Body language is the unspoken or non-verbal mode of communication
that
we do in every single aspect of our interaction with another
person. It is like a
mirror that tells us what the other person thinks and feels
in response to our
words or actions. Body language involves gestures, mannerisms,
and other
bodily signs.
Would you believe that in real life situations, 60% to 80%
of the messages
that we convey to other people are transmitted through body
language and the
actual verbal communication accounts for only 7% to 10%?
Our ability to use body language in a positive way and to
read other
people's minds through their body language separates the men
from the boys (or
women from girls), and can be a powerful tool to our overall
personality
development. Imagine creating a great impression for work,
business, and love
by being knowledgeable in this not-so-common
yet powerful field of study. It is
the unspoken tool to a successful life.
So read on and find out how you can read and utilize body
language - the
most used yet most misunderstood secret language in the world.
Chapter 1
Reading the Signs
We use body language everyday in our lives to get our message
across,
to achieve positive feedback in our lives, and to get whatever
we want. We use
this language all the time, but we may not be aware of it.
Moreover, this language
doesn't only involve the mouth but the whole body as well.
Could you even imagine the awesome power of applying it? With
it, you'll
be able to interpret other people's inner emotions even if
they're not directly
expressing it. You'll also be able to modify your behavior
to fit the situation. You'll
get them to like and trust you. What words cannot do, body
language can.
In this chapter, we shall explore the various body gestures
or movements
conveyed by people in different scenarios. Let's begin.
Suggesting Interest
It is important to know if people are interested in what you
are saying;
otherwise, you are just wasting your time.
Just imagine you are a chemistry teacher. You have always
been
interested in chemistry, so you assume that your students
feel the same way as
you do. But are they really interested? Are your teaching
methods good enough
to arouse their interest? Unless you can recognize the different
body signals your
students are conveying, you would never know how they are
adapting to the
subject matter. And unless you find out if staring continuously
at you without
blinking the eyes is a sign of interest or an indication of
being in dreamland, you
simply could not take the necessary steps to adjust to their
learning needs.
Here are some of the movements exhibited by
people who are interested
in what you are saying:
They maintain eye contact more than 60% of the time. The more
wide-
opened the eyes are, the more interested the person is. In
fact, a
person maintains eye contact more when listening than when
talking.
Their heads are inclined forward.
They are nodding their heads. Such action means that they're
agreeing
with you. That means they're attentive and listening.
Their feet are pointing towards you.
They smile frequently. But take note, not all smiles convey
the same
feeling. An oblong smile is not genuine. It is used to show
courtesy, but
not necessarily happiness or friendliness. The lips are withheld
completely back from the upper and lower teeth, forming the
oblong
shape. This is usually the smile that many people exhibit
when they
feign to enjoy a lame joke.
Indications That They're More Open to Agree with You
When you were a young child, have you ever tried to decode
what your
parents' facial expressions mean when you ask them to buy
you a new toy or to
take you to Disneyland? A frown would likely be a "No!" But
a nod would make
you jump with joy. As you grow older, it has become a necessity
to be able to
detect if other people will agree with your decision or proposal.
This is an ability
that will truly help negotiators, employees, and even lovers
to succeed in their
ventures because they would be able to change
their approach early enough to
adjust to a specific situation.
There are certain hints to indicate if people are more receptive
in
accepting your ideas. Some of these are:
Their hands are flat on the table.
Their palms are open.
If they're stroking their chin, they're thinking. They may
agree with you
after careful evaluation.
Their heads are inclined forward.
They are nodding their heads.
Their legs are spaced out from each other.
They smile frequently.
They unbutton their jackets. This indicates friendliness and
willingness
to collaborate with you.
Their hands are open. This also indicates genuineness.
They place their hands in their chest. This signifies openness
and
conveys sincerity, honesty, or dedication. However, a woman
putting
her hands in her breast is a defensive position and may indicate
that
she is surprised or astonished.
Indications That They are Thinking
People think all the time. But different individuals make
different body
movements based on the type and intensity of their thinking.
Some of their
actions are written below:
They're stroking their chin. This means they are assessing
the
advantages and disadvantages of the proposal/idea being presented.
They take their glasses off, after which they may either (1)
clean them,
or (2) put the tip of the frame in their mouth. They are buying
themselves some time to think things over. A frame in the
mouth would
also likely indicate that they need more details and they
are willing to
listen.
They are pinching the bridge of the nose most likely with
eyes closed.
People doing this are engaged in very deep thought. They may
be
involved in a difficult situation, where they are aware of
the
consequences that may occur as a result of making crucial
decisions.
They put a palm below the chin, index finger pointed and extended
along the cheek, while other fingers placed beneath the mouth.
This
gesture more likely indicates thoughts that are criticizing
or
antagonizing other people.
They walk with the head down and hands behind the back. People
who
walk this way are probably worried about their problems, and
they are
thinking of ways to solve them.
Indications That They Are Frustrated/
Dismayed
A basketball coach whose team loses by a point may say "Aaarrrrrrr!"
or
he may just keep quiet while making certain body movements
that indicate how
disappointed he is. Here are some hints that indicate frustration.
They are scratching/rubbing the hair or the back of the neck.
You often hear the word "Tsk."
They kick the dust or air.
Indications That They Are Action-Oriented
People who are goal-oriented and highly motivated may not
only be
recognized by how they speak. Their actions actually speak
louder.
They walk at a fast rate while swinging their arms loosely.
They put their hands on their hips, usually with legs apart.
They walk with hands on their hips. This may indicate a spurt
of vitality
at the moment, but may be followed by sluggishness.
Indications That They Are Defensive/Hiding Something
The mouth might keep a secret, but certain gestures could
indicate that
people are hiding something they don't want others to find
out, such as:
They walk with their hands in their pockets.
They cross their arms.
They hide their hands any way they can.
Indications Of Boredom
Imagine your boss is doing a presentation and all employees
are required
to listen. You noticed that many of them are clicking their
pen, tapping their feet,
and drumming their fingers. After the meeting, you hear the
boss ask them, "Did
you enjoy the presentation?" They would say "Definitely!"
But you know better.
Their actions indicate just how bored they are. It feels good
to know body
language, doesn't it?
Some signals conveyed by people who are bored and disinterested
include:
Head supported by the palm, often accompanied by drooping
eyes.
They show inattentiveness by staring at a blank space (eyes
not
blinking) or by looking around frequently.
They are pulling their ears. This may also signify that they
want to
interrupt while another person is talking.
They are clicking a pen non-stop.
They are tapping their hands or feet.
They yawn incessantly.
Their feet or other body parts are pointing to the exit, as
if they are very
eager to leave.
They move restlessly in their seats. This could also mean
that they are
not cozy or at ease, or they might just be exhausted.
They cross their legs and constantly kick
their foot in a very slight
motion (particularly done by females).
If you're the one making the presentation and you discerned
that your
audience are displaying signs of boredom, don't start talking
faster or louder.
Restrain from such act even if your instinct tells you to
do so. Instead, say, "Hold
on. I feel that I'm losing your attention. What's up?"
Hear what they have to say.
You may discover what's actually preventing them from keeping
up with you.
Signals Conveying Excitement or Interest
If you have experienced getting a promotion, receiving a special
gift, or
winning a contest, I bet you've done any of the acts made
by excited people
when you first discovered about your blessing. Some of the
movements made by
excited people include:
They rub their palms against each other.
They clap their hands.
Their heads are tilted forward.
Their cross their fingers (usually comes with the hope that
something
big or special will happen).
Signals Exhibiting Confidence/Authority/Power
People with a high degree of self-confidence are normally
more likely to
be successful than those who have low self-esteem. Moreover,
those who exhibit
authority or dominance usually come out on
top because they subconsciously
make other people feel weaker. So how do they move?
They maintain firm eye contact and rarely looks on other body
parts
underneath the nose.
They speak with a low-pitched, slow-paced, downward-inflected
voice.
Chin tilted upwards.
Chest projected outwards.
They maintain an erect posture, whether standing or sitting.
They sit in reverse, with the back of the chair serving as
their support
or shield. People who sit in this position are known to be
bossy and
aggressive.
Their hands are clenched behind the back.
Their hands are placed beside the hips.
Their feet are on top of the table.
They have a firm handshake, palms pointing downwards.
They lean back with both hands supporting the head.
They move with precision and with no hesitation.
They walk solidly with forceful arm swings.
They join the fingertips of both hands together (small finger
of both
hands joined together, ring finger of both hands joined together,
and so
on). Palms of both hands are not in contact with each other.
The higher
the hands are elevated, the more confident they are.
They extend one leg over the arm of a chair
they're sitting in. When
they do this, it may also mean that they are apathetic, disinterested,
or
unconcerned. They may be exhibiting the "I don't care" attitude.
Moreover, you can declare your domination over other people
by rising or
elevating yourself from them. It is not unusual to see taller
people being in control
over the situation. Choose a chair or location where other
people will have to
"look up" on you. They will subconsciously think they are
weaker and can easily
be manipulated.
Signals Of Anger/Resistance
Many people rarely let their anger go out of control. They
are more likely
to restrain their raging emotions. You must therefore be able
to recognize any
gesture that signifies wrath or resistance to prevent any
possible chances of the
fireworks exploding. Here are some hints:
Their fists are clenched.
Their hands or feet are tapping.
One hand is clutching the other hand, arm, or elbow.
Their arms are crossed over the chest.
Their eyes are blinking constantly.
Collar pulled away from the neck, like letting some air in
during a hot
day in the summer.
They kick the dust or air.
Their arms are vertically placed on the table
while the hands are
gripping the edge. Beware when they do this because it might
mean
something like "You better get this done or else!" or "Better
listen or
you'll regret this!"
Signals Of Nervousness/Tension
Nervousness can be a turn-off. If you're going to be interviewed
in a
television show (hey, who knows?), you should be aware of
your body
movements. Signals conveyed by nervous people include:
Their fists are clenched.
Their hands or feet are tapping.
The bottom edges between the fingers of one hand are clenched
with
the bottom edges between the fingers of the other hand. This
is the
position of the hands when praying.
Hands are interlocked (flesh between thumb and index finger
of one
hand joined with flesh between thumb and index finger of another
hand) and pressing each other.
They speak in a high-pitched, fast-paced, stuttering voice.
They whistle to conceal and fight their nervousness.
They are often clearing their throat.
One hand is clutching the other hand, wrist, arm, or elbow.
Their arms are at the back, where one hand is pressing the
wrist or
arm.
Their arms are crossed, but they are gripping
their biceps.
Their legs are crossed while standing.
They have a wilted handshake, palms pointing upwards.
Their eyes evade you.
Their ankles are locked or glued to each other. When accompanied
by
clenched fists, this may indicate that they are holding back
strong
emotions or feelings.
They don't smoke. What?!? You thought people smoke because
they're nervous. But it is in fact the opposite. People who
smoke only
do so when they are not tensed in any way.
When you hear them say "Whew," it means they are previously
nervous
but are now relieved because their problems have been solved
or they have
survived a big challenge.
Signals Made When They Are Doubting/Suspecting You
It's sometimes difficult to assume whether you are being regarded
as a
trustworthy person, or you are being thought of as someone
who is full of
nonsense. Here are some clues that may indicate suspicion:
They glimpse sideways from the corner of one eye.
They are rubbing or touching their eyes or ears.
Their hands are tucked in their pockets.
Their arms are crossed over the chest.
Their glasses are dropped to the lower bridge
of the nose, with eyes
peering over them. This movement may indicate that you are
being
examined closely (to the point that you get conscious).
There's one act you usually do when you are the one doubting
yourself -
rubbing or touching your nose. This subconsciously occurs
when you are
uncertain of how to answer a critical question or when you
are concerned of
other people's reaction to your answer.
Signals Made When They Need Reassurance
Some people have this disorder where they feel that they are
always
making the wrong decisions. "Should I really buy this? Maybe
I should wait for a
sale." "Can I really get a better job after I resign from
this company?" These
people do certain actions to reassure themselves that they
have made the right
choice, that everything will be ok.
They stick a pen in their mouth.
They squeeze the chunky part of their hand.
They rub the back of the chair (while sitting).
They clamp their hands with thumbs touching against one another.
They bite their nails (in some cases).
They touch their throat (for women).
They jiggle the coins in their pockets. (for those who are
concerned
about their riches).
Here's what certain types of people would do
when they want to reassure
others:
A woman gives reassurance to another female by holding both
of her
hands and sometimes hugging her. The facial appearance of
the
consoling female matches the solemn mood of the other female.
A politician who would like to reassure you that he will be
doing a good
job when elected in public office would shake your hand with
his right
hand and cup it with his left hand.
Indications of Pride
People often show how proud they are of their material possession
(for
example, a car) by leaning against it or by touching it. You
can see the sparkle in
their eyes and you can sense the thrill in their voice.
How To Know When They Are Lying
People lie for a variety of reasons. It may be to cover up
a fault or
embarrassment, to avoid upsetting other people, to encourage
when no hope
can be perceived, or to be spared from petty hassles. It may
also be due to more
serious psychological problems such as delusional imaging
or extreme vanity.
Here are some indications that are conveyed by people when
lying:
They speak in a high-pitched, fast-paced, stuttering voice.
They are constantly swallowing and clearing their throat.
They try their best to avoid having eye contact.
This applies particularly
to people who want to avoid discussing a certain topic.
They look somewhere else and glimpse from the corner of their
eye.
They stick their tongue out to moist their lips.
They are blinking rapidly.
They rub their throat.
Their arms are crossed over the chest.
They are constantly touching parts of their face, especially
the mouth,
ear, and nose as if covering them.
They scratch their head or the back of the neck.
Their poses are closed, descending, and insecure.
Their hands or feet are tapping.
They always look down with shrugged shoulders.
They are constantly moving from one place to another or changing
their poses.
They are projecting parts of their body (feet) to an escape
route
(door).
Don't Jump to Conclusions
Every person has a unique body language. Although silence
usually
denotes that an individual is reserved and relaxed, some people
keep their anger
within themselves and stay quiet. (This is very unhealthy
because rage kept up
inside can explode furiously anytime, causing serious casualties).
A wide open
mouth may indicate shock or astonishment for
one person, while another person
who performs this gesture could just be concentrating intently
on a task he's
doing. Constantly touching the mouth may indicate lying, although
the real
reason might just be that the mouth is itching.
One way to overcome this dilemma is to watch out for other
signals that
jive with the body language being exhibited. For example,
you can confirm if a
person is really nervous if he exhibits many of the qualities
of nervousness
described above. Judgment based on one or two gestures only
may not be
accurate enough, although they can be dependable. Be aware
of the body
language, but also combine your observations with the spoken
words to get more
hints regarding the inner feelings of another. Use this power
to your advantage.
Chapter 2
Mirroring
Who would you rather be with? Your best friend who loves pizza
as much
as you do, who's crazy about basketball like you are, who
watches the same
programs on TV as you; or your next-door neighbor who's a
vegetarian, hates
sports, and watches those shows that will bore you to dreamland?
The answer is obvious. You would want to be around people
who have the
same behaviors, attitudes, and values as yours.
Birds of the same feather flock together.
Bookworms like each other's company because they share a common
bond - their love for books. Basketball fanatics flock together
because they can
RELATE to each other's interests and ideas.
If you really want someone to like and trust you, you've got
to exhibit the
same qualities as that person. And there's no better way to
do this than by using
body language. Here's how it goes:
Match their facial expressions, gestures, posture, speech,
styles, actions,
breathing patterns, values and beliefs. Put yourself in their
shoes. In other words,
BE THEM.
By doing this, you are also matching their way of thinking.
You may easily
adapt to their inner thoughts and views.
You may also do some crossover matching. For example, you
talk at the
same rate as their breathing. Or you can scratch your chin
every time their eyes
blink. Get the idea?
Be genuinely interested and curious with everything
you can find out about
them. Discover their attitude. Know their life story.
This is what we call mirroring.
But mirroring should not be confused with mimicry. You should
act with
courtesy and caution. Never let the person you're mirroring
be aware of what
you're doing. Just imagine acting out shamelessly what the
other person is doing.
Every time he stands, you stand. When he scratches his head,
you also scratch
your head. That would be insulting. Never let the person you're
mirroring have
any chance to think that you are mocking him.
Your main objective should be to influence the subconscious.
Even if a
person is not aware that you're mirroring him, his subconscious
mind realizes it.
The person will subconsciously be at ease when you duplicate
his
manners indirectly. He will feel very comfortable if you're
both on the same level.
Correspond with Their Moods
If a person you're mirroring have lots of problems, don't
come to him in a
joyous mood and say, "Don't worry about it. Let's watch
a movie so that you'll
forget about whatever's bugging you."
He's in a foul mood. He expects you to feel for him, to empathize
with him.
Match his disposition first, then say something like, "I
feel bad for you. If there's
anything I can do to help, just let me know." All he
wants right now is to be with
someone who has the same mood as he has.
A word of warning though. If someone has some
really big emotional
problems, and you mirror that person, you run the risk of
actually absorbing his
emotions. So do this activity in a low-risk situation.
Developing Rapport
The ultimate goal of mirroring is to build rapport. It's the
time when you
and the people you're mirroring feel so close and in synch
with each other that
you feel like you've known each other for years.
So how would you know if you've built rapport?
Mirror them. Match whatever characteristic, value, or behavior
they
possess that you would like to copy.
After some time, touch your nose or cross your legs. If they
do the same
thing, mission accomplished! You've already lowered their
defenses to the point
where they are more receptive to your suggestions.
You can even build rapport even if a person you're mirroring
is far away.
Here's how to do it:
1. Just relax. Clear your mind of all negative thoughts and
create a bond
by focusing on the entire body of the person you wish to mirror.
Make
his image so real and vivid.
2. Use your subconscious to enter his world. Feel the connection.
Give
out positive projections uniting his entire persona into yours.
3. Think of what he may be doing at the moment. Then replicate
his
actions, behaviors, and principles.
With this exercise, you can even emulate your
role models. Let's say you
want to be as successful as your boss who is always traveling
around the world.
Do the above exercise and you'll soon see some astounding
results.
Chapter 3
Body Language in Negotiations
In almost every point in your life, you unconsciously do the
art of
negotiations. From haggling with your favorite flea market
sales lady, to lobbying
for a well-deserved increase from your boss, negotiations
are being made daily in
your life. And would you believe almost all aspects of the
negotiation process
involves body language?
In terms of the actual negotiation in business, body language
is a very
important aspect. Reading body movements of your counterparts
and making the
right gestures may spell the difference between success and
failure in the
negotiation process.
Early Signs
The first step in using body language in a negotiation begins
the moment
you walk into the negotiation room. Be keen in observing their
body language by
focusing on the whole body - the head, arms, hands, chest,
tummy, legs and
feet. If you achieve this, you will be able to listen better.
You will also be more
perceptive in reading their body language.
Personal Space in Negotiations
In the negotiating table, each person creates his own personal
space, his
own territory. By business practice, people of higher status
(e.g. president of a
company) command more personal space, and are usually conferred
by other
people in the negotiating table.
For example, the authority over the most dominant
chair (usually the head
of the table) is the apparent symbol of power. If this person
occupies the
dominant chair, a good negotiator can repel this by strategic
seating arrangement
of teams or allies in the negotiating table. You may sit in
a way that you surround
that person, or any seating arrangement where you may comfortably
get
leverage.
First Impressions Last
In the negotiating table, the first move is the most crucial.
Just like in the
game of chess, if you play the white piece, you get the built-in
advantage
because you draw first blood, and the opponent's next move
and game plan for
that matter is dependent on that crucial first move.
So make a good, firm, and calculated move. Begin with a positive
body
language. Radiate your enthusiasm. In a meeting for example,
look in the other
person's eyes with sincerity. Your eyes are the windows to
your soul. If you can't
maintain eye contact, they might think you're hiding something
or you're not
sincere.
Give a solid handshake. Hold the hand firmly but don't squeeze
it. A
common fallacy is that we should squeeze the hand during this
monumental time
of the handshake. This is certainly not advisable.
Press the hand one time while looking the person straight
in the eye.
Pressing the hand once or twice may indicate excitement or
vitality, but anything
more than that can make the other person uneasy.
Put Your Body Language Know-how to Use
During the negotiation process, observe their gestures. In
the first chapter,
you were taught how to recognize if people are interested
in what you are saying,
if they are casting doubts on you, if they are more open to
accept your proposal,
and even when they are lying.
Be alert in recognizing these signals. Moreover, also be aware
of your
own actions. You might be exhibiting signs of nervousness
without you knowing
it, and your counterparts (who might also know body language)
might take
advantage of the circumstances.
CHAPTER 4
Body Language in Selling
Studies in Psychology tell us that the effect you have on
others depends
on what you say from the mouth (7%), the manner in which you
say it (38%), and
by your body language (55%). In addition, how you sound also
imparts a
message, so 93% of emotion is also conveyed without saying
the actual words.
This is also true in selling. In the real world, we sell tangible
items and also
ideas. A concise way on how we can sell effectively is by
simply using that old
but very powerful arsenal known as body language.
When you sell, you can use postures, facial expressions, gestures,
mannerisms, and your physical appearance to close the sale
successfully. Most
customers tend to buy when triggered by their senses. The
key here is to do
everything you can to positively affect their senses.
Most people believed the image projected by Saint Mother Theresa
is a
positive image. She used her personality to convey a constant
image of holiness
and sincerity. We bought the idea of her image.
Non-verbal communication also connotes that a man of few words
is a
man of credibility. It's often not what you say that influences
others; it's what you
don't say. The signals that you impart using body movements
suggest
comprehension, disposition, morality, and compassion.
In selling, the instant you meet a target client, he is already
examining you
based on your image and perception in a span of ten seconds
or less. This is a
crucial moment in selling, as his first impression of you
will definitely make a
permanent mark.
Whether you make or break a sale can literally
depend on the non-verbal
signals that you send during this crucial first contact. It's
a must for readers of
this book to understand the facets of body language especially
in selling.
Americans, for example, are somewhat categorized as one of
the best in reading
body language, because they espouse thousands of non-verbal
signs. This
ability makes them formidable negotiators.
In addition, women are generally considered to be more adept
to body
language than men because of their natural built-in instincts.
Now you know the
secret why some women are more successful than men in the
business or
professional field.
As a rule of thumb, body language is being used most of the
time all over
the world. The most common example is a nodding head (meaning
"yes").
But it is not necessarily the case every time. For example,
shaking legs
might connote that a person is nervous, while it may just
be a person's natural
behavior. A person's eyes could evade you because he's hiding
something, or it
could also mean that he's extremely shy.
Given these intricacies, what's important is to analyze what
the message
really is. You can do it by looking at patterns. Look out
for groups of signals that
may have the same meaning in relation to the verbal expressions,
and also in
cognizance to the circumstances.
Once you have traced the patterns, it is easier to understand
body
language. It will therefore help you make a sale.
Written below are some body language techniques
to help make your
sales sizzle:
1. You can immediately analyze a person's personality by studying
his
style in shaking hands. An assertive person holds your hand
firmly
when you shake his hand. On the other hand, an individual
with little or
no confidence often gives a frail handshake. A person who
wants to
win your trust would usually shake your hand with his other
hand
covering the shake or holding your elbow. Adopt a handshake
that is
firm, yet not crushing. Convey confidence and professionalism,
not
dominance.
2. Posture is another aspect of body language. A slouching
shoulder with
your eyes looking on the ground can indicate lack of interest.
Standing
straight with your weight balanced on each foot gives you
a more
assured and relaxed look. Always maintain a straight body,
whether
you're standing or sitting.
3. Match the straight open posture with a genuine facial expression.
Dispose of the sunglasses. The client may think that you are
hiding
something, as he can't see through your eyes. When he looks
straight
in your eyes, he can tell if you are lying, so be transparent.
Lay down
your cards and throw the shades away. But be sure to avoid
piercing
looks. The client might get intimidated.
4. When doing sales calls and presentations, be sure to use
sincere and
open movements all the time. Do not cross your arms, as this
can ruin
the trust of your potential customer. The outward
and upward gestures
of your hands are recommendable. If you lean back on a
chair and place your hands at the back of your head, it may
drive your
clients away as this is a sure sign of arrogance and a false
sense of
confidence. Meanwhile, if you place your hands on your waists,
you
are exuding positive confidence.
5. "Don't point." Pointing at a client is equivalent
to death wish in selling. It
is as if you're waving your sales opportunity goodbye. Pointing
is an
aggressive act that can be interpreted as hostility, so throw
this gesture
out the window if you really want to sell.
6. In sales, here are signs that you are open for negotiations
and are
willing to compromise. Unbuttoning your jacket means you are
ready to
talk and to listen to a counter offer. Removing your jacket
or rolling
your sleeves up is a very good sign for the client, as this
means you
are ready to decide or to give in to the final price.
You, as the seller, may also use body language as a tool to
recognize and
counteract any potential objections by the client. The usual
scenarios include the
following:
1. If the client's arms are crossed, it means he is disinterested.
Use
counter measures like positive movements to cause them to
uncross
their arms, and for you to begin the sales approach. When
his arms
and legs are uncrossed, and his hands are open, this is the
best
scenario, as they are open to your ideas...and
a sale is more likely to
happen.
2. Another good sales scenario is when the client mimics your
gestures
like when you fix your hair and the client follows. It shows
he is very
receptive to your ideas and open to buy your idea or product.
If this is
the case, throw all your barrage of features and benefits,
and close the
sale! This point is crucial as you can make or break the sale.
3. If the client covers his mouth, touches his nose, or the
part near the
eye, there's a probability that you are losing the sale. Something
you
said or did might have discouraged him. But don't despair.
Do the
selling process again; but this time, do it differently. Reassure
the client
that he is getting a great deal and encourage him to open
up and share
ideas. Open your palms and unconsciously let him see you
occasionally putting your palm to your chest (this signifies
honesty).
Then try to reach that positive sales atmosphere again and
close the
sale.
4. Always be alert to the signs the client is exhibiting.
If the client shows
interest through his body movements, give the final sales
blow and
close the sale. The client's body language may change from
positive to
suspecting. In this case, take it easy, gather your wits,
read your
client's moods, and try to win him back. Always exhibit openness
and
sincerity. When the client crosses his legs and arms, this
is a warning
signal. Use mirroring techniques (discussed in the previous
chapter).
You must make every effort to earn the trust
of the client, so that you
ultimately can close the deal.
5. In worse cases where you are unable to close the sale,
try to be
professional and diplomatic at all times. Thank the client
for listening
and shake his hand with sincerity. Sales cannot be achieved
overnight
and you generally win some and lose some. Closing the presentation
on a positive note will leave a good impression of you. Who
knows, he
might be your next positive client at some other time.
Use your body every way you can in the selling process. Always
be
enthusiastic. If you truly believe in the high quality of
your product or service,
other people will be positively affected by your enthusiasm.
Body movements can
convince prospects to become believers in what you are offering.
Chapter 5
Body Language in Job Interviews
Gone are the days when the job seeker has to write the handwritten
application letter to earn that job interview. In this age
of computers and cyber
technology, most employers prefer applicants who apply online,
and more job
seekers are looking to the net for their job opportunities.
But one thing remains
the same - the body language of the applicant during job interviews
and how they
make the first impression as they step inside that interview
room.
Your Type of Person
Based on your body language, an interviewer may know whether
you are
confident or not, if you are the shy type or the friendly
type, if you are a loner or a
team player, or even if you are telling the truth or not.
They can tell if you are
capable of handling the job, if you are devoted, or if you're
someone who can get
along with other employees. Based on their questions, the
interviewer will not
only pay attention to what you say, but also on how you say
it. The interviewer
generally will find responses from you that match their qualifications.
How you
can decode the body language of your interviewer in relation
to your own body
language will determine the thin line if you get that job
or not.
Be Punctual
This is the most important aspect of the job interview arriving
on time.
The job interview is deemed as a very important appointment,
and being late is a
cardinal crime with gravity that may cause you to lose that
job opportunity. Your
attitude regarding time will send the wrong
messages to the employer, and will
tell a lot about your lack of professionalism. Being stuck
in traffic is a very lame
and downright unforgivable excuse. It is better to be early
by one hour than to be
a minute late.
The First Encounter
When the interviewer comes to the room to meet you, do not
offer your
hand for a handshake unless the interviewer offers his hand.
Shake hands firmly,
but do not squeeze. Maintain eye contact.
Proper Body Posture
Body posture is important during job interviews and you can
adopt the
following stance. At the beginning of the interview, sit up
straight in your chair,
with your back leaning against the back of the chair. Do not
slouch or move
sideways in your chair because it might be perceived by the
interviewer as a lack
of interest or boredom. On the other hand, sitting on the
edge of your chair can
impart a message that you are a little nervous and that you
feel uneasy with the
situation.
When the interviewer says something, it is advisable to lean
forward a
little. This shows interest and attention in what the interviewer
is saying. You can
tilt your head a little to show that you are listening closely.
Proper Gestures
Do not cross your arms because this might be perceived as
a defensive
move. Just place your hands loosely on your lap or just put
them on the armrest
of your chair. By doing this, you will also be able to make
hand movements to
support what you are saying.
While speaking, you may nod your head occasionally to expound
on a
subject or to give more meaning to what you are saying. Hand
movements can
also help to spice up the conversation. The interviewer would
think that you are
comfortable with the interview process if you make hand gestures.
Too much hand movements at the beginning of the interview
may not be a
good idea. The proper way is to add them gradually throughout
the interview.
Be aware of your interviewer's hand movements as well. If
they use their
hands a lot to make a point or to clarify something, you can
do the same thing as
well (Remember mirroring?). When they don't make many movements,
do the
same thing as them. It is important to adjust your gestures
to that of the
interviewer to establish rapport.
Be alert to unintentional gestures that you may make sometimes
due to
tension. Some of the acts that may irritate the interviewer
could include:
Tapping your fingers across the desk.
Shuffling your feet.
Biting your nails.
Toying with a pen.
The Panel Interview
Being interviewed by one person could be a piece of cake for
many. But
being interviewed by a group could be a confusing ordeal,
especially when it
comes to who you should look at during the interview.
It is important to maintain eye contact with all the interviewers
at an equal
extent. By looking uniformly at them, you will establish their
trust and you will
gain composure throughout the interview process.
When one of the interview partners asks or says something,
maintain eye
contact with him until he ceases speaking. This will indicate
that you're listening
attentively. While he is speaking, he may also look at the
other interviewers.
When he looks at you again, you can nod your head to encourage
him to
continue speaking.
When you answer a question, look first at the one who asked.
But while
you are answering, you should take turns looking at each of
the other
interviewers as well. You should direct yourself again to
the person who asked
the question when you want to prove a point, when you want
to emphasize
something, and when you are done answering.
Body Language of Your Interviewers
Observing the body language of your interviewers is as important
as being
aware of your own body movements. The body gestures of your
interviewers can
give you an indication of how well you are coming across to
them. This can serve
as a signal to change your approach at an early
stage before they give you the
thumbs down.
For example, when you did something that displeases the interviewers,
they will show their annoyance through body language. When
they sigh, shake
their heads, look down, or fold their arms and lean back,
you can take this as a
sign of discontentment or irritability. The interviewers might
not consciously
notice that they're exhibiting their body movements at first,
so you still have a
chance to shift your strategy.
It's Okay to be Nervous
Knowing how to act confidently using body language can increase
your
chances of passing the interview. You can utilize this knowledge
to conceal your
anxiety a little, but this is something you shouldn't worry
about too much. Many
applicants are tensed during an interview, and they would
not want to let the
interviewer know about their inner feelings. However, it is
completely
understandable to be nervous at this stage. It is completely
normal.
Your nervousness may even indicate how valuable getting this
job is to
you. If you weren't nervous, and you act like a happy-go-lucky
person, you might
be perceived as someone who is not very interested in the
job.
The interview not only functions as a way of determining who
among the
applicants is most capable of performing the job well, but
it is also a means of
allowing the interviewer to get to know more about the applicants.
It's a first
encounter with an individual that you might soon work together
with. If that's the
case, then the interviewer (who could be your
boss) should actually feel the
same way as you are. Nervousness often accompanies excitement.
Chapter 6
Body Language in Meetings
Communication occurs constantly in a meeting. Not many people
are
involved in speaking, but almost everyone (if not everyone)
would exhibit body
language signals that divulge what they are actually feeling
inside.
If you are the leader of the meeting, it is important to know
if the attendees
are interested in what you are saying, or if they agree with
your ideas. Early
detection of boredom or disagreement is crucial in order for
you to change your
approach or present a different proposal when necessary.
When you see most of the attendees reclining back in their
chairs or just
staring blankly without blinking an eye, it likely means they
are not interested in
the topic being discussed. Do not prolong the discussion or
do something that
will break the monotony.
When the attendees nod constantly, it means they are agreeing
with what
you are saying.
When the attendees cross their arms, touch their nose or mouth,
sit back,
and worse, shake their heads, they oppose your ideas. Time
to think of some
countermeasures to neutralize the situation.
When an attendee breathes deeply, it probably means that he
wants to
interrupt the conversation and express his point of views.
Observe also other body gestures, such as:
Changing the intonation of the voice.
Frowning.
Looking down at the ground
Drumming fingers in the table.
Exiting the meeting room.
You need to detect the inner feelings of each attendee and
bear in mind
how this can affect the reaction of the other attendees. If
the topic being
discussed becomes "too hot to handle," it might be better
to re-schedule the
meeting at another time. Some emotional people can exhibit
great facial
expressions and body gestures. Recognizing them early in the
meeting can
prevent any undesirable emotional outbreak to occur.
Chapter 7
Body Language in Flirting
Male and female courtship signals have been studied, and the
basic
conclusions are that these signals are completely unconscious.
The more you
consciously understand the signals, the better and more successful
you will be
when courting the object of your desire, whether it is the
man or woman of your
dreams.
To master the art of successful flirting, you have to feel
good about
yourself first. Be confident. Be yourself, or else you will
look deceitful or
desperate. Flirting can be utilized in just about anything,
not just in attracting the
opposite sex, but also in attaining just about anything you
want in your life. This
can be described as good flirting. Good flirting should be
done with a precise
understanding of what you really want, coupled with positive
sensations.
I have interviewed a number of successful men and women in
the field of
network marketing and advertising in their 30s and 40s. Here
are their tips on
how you can put good flirting to your advantage:
1. Don't worry about whether you are making a good impression
or not.
Instead, analyze how you can make the other person feel good.
By
doing this, you will get the feedback you are expecting. Soon
you will
make the connection.
2. Flirting can help you make friends or impress a client
if you make
yourself approachable. Put a smile on your face, as it gives
you an
aura of being friendly.
3. Remember that you cannot attract people
just by sitting or standing like
a statue. There will be instances when you will encounter
a person
who gets a little bit too close for comfort feel, or someone
who makes
you feel you are already invading privacy. No matter what
you do, you
would get a so-called "vacuum" reaction. Tough one, huh? You
can
avoid this by using gentle moves and by calibrating the person's
reactions to you. Be aware of these signals: mouths get larger,
the lips
swell, eyes widen, pupils dilate, skin flushes and changes
color,
muscles around the mouth move, among others.
4. Be persistent. Flirting works best when you are
patient. By being such,
you will have room for improvement if at first you aren't
getting the
results you want. If you fail the first time, do it again
the second time,
third time, just keep trying. Try different approaches until
you realize
what will really work best for you. If you were rejected,
don't give up.
This goes with the sayings, "To err is human" and "Nobody's
perfect."
5. This is probably for me the most interesting and somehow
funniest tip I
got: "Practice in the mirror, only then can you make it perfect!"
This is
especially true in meeting friends and prospects, because
flirting may
involve unwanted actions and attention which can put you in
the bad
light. You may be spontaneous in your actions, but you can't
guard
yourself if you are already overdoing it, and I supposed you
don't want
to be in that situation. Try practicing with your close friends
and ask for
feedback.
6. Make the first move! Opportunities knock
only once, so if you want
something or even someone, go for it, now! Let go of your
inhibitions.
But remember to apply positive or good flirting. Who knows
if the
person you meet at that moment is your gateway towards the
fulfillment of your dreams.
Let Your Body Attract
Do you know why some people seem to have an easier time attracting
the
opposite sex? Here's what you can to do in order to catch
the eye of your Honey
Bunch.
1. Smile sincerely and frequently. In his article "The Six
Don Juan
Commandments of Body Language," Allen Thompson wrote that
smiling is "The simplest, most obvious, and most powerful
of the body
language commandments." He also mentions that "Smiling conveys,
both instantly and clearly, many wonderful things about yourself.
Smiling demonstrates confidence, friendliness, a positive
attitude, a
good mood, and it gives the impression that you're someone
who is,
most likely, fun to be with. It's also very difficult to ignore."
2. Have a sense of humor. Learn to laugh at petty matters.
People love to
be with those who can turn any situation into a funny setting.
3. Maintain eye contact. Your eyes are probably the most expressive
parts of your body. When you look at your dear one constantly,
you are
expressing your sincere intentions. Eye contact also establishes
a
bond between two persons. They would naturally
feel more
comfortable in each other's company.
4. Nod your head. By nodding, you signify your approval and
you
encourage the other party to continue talking. You give reassurance
that your loved one is doing ok.
5. Be open, physically. Do not cross your arms across the
chest or hold
obstructive objects (such as a food) between the two of you.
Put your
hands on your sides (and if possible put your palms up) to
convey
openness.
Knowing If The Apple Of Your Eye Is Interested
Do you want to know if that special someone is interested
in you as well?
Let's assume you're a man. You see a gorgeous lady that made
your heart beat
faster. Look at her with extreme confidence letting her know
you are interested.
Then wait for her reaction. She may be a bit shy to stare
back at you, so it's
natural if she shifts her glance. Here's how to find out if
she's attracted to you.
If she looks down and away, she's interested.
If she looks to the left or right, she's not interested.
Moreover, how will you know if a person is attracted to you
just by
observing body signs? A girl, for example, is flirting if
she espouses the following
body language:
1. Her lips show the way. She wears that big
smile with her teeth
exposed and with a relaxed face. She bites her lips or shows
her
tongue, or she licks her lips and touches the front of her
teeth.
2. Her eyes show you everything. She looks at you with
a deep stare and
her pupils are dilated. She raises her eyebrows seductively
and gives
you a wink from a distance, or when she is talking to you.
And of
course, the most common one - she blinks her eyes more than
usual
and shows you that fluttering eyelashes.
3. She gets herself noticed by the stroking of her hair. She
may push her
fingers through her hair, twirl it around her fingers, or
throw her hair
back off her shoulders.
4. She shows a little more skin on her clothing. The hem of
her skirt goes
up a little further exposing her legs, or she fixes her clothes
more than
usual to look a little better.
5. You can tell it from the way she sits. She sits
with an open leg or
crosses her legs in a manner where her thighs can be seen.
Or her
legs are rubbing against each other or against the leg of
the table.
6. Her hands mirror how she feels. She rubs her wrists up
and down in a
suggestive manner. She rubs her chin or touches her cheek,
and in a
bold way may even unconsciously touch her breasts. She plays
with
objects on the table, fondles keys, or rubs a drinking glass
in a flirting
manner.
On the contrary, how does a man show his interest
in a woman? It's much
simpler. Maintaining eye contact, smiling frequently, and
exhibiting confidence
through his actions are the main ways.
Conversation Openers
If you want to start a relationship, you've got to initiate
the dialogue. Here are
some great openers.
If your special someone is a specialist, ask "How do
you...?" or
"What's it like to...?"
Ask about experiences, like "Have you ever tried to...?"
or "Have you
ever gone to...?
Find out what interests your special someone. Give compliments
in-
between conversations. Always stay calm and relaxed. Be curious
and
interested. Nod to signify that you're listening. Say, "Wow,"
"Great," "I see," etc.
The Touch
A simple touch to the body can have a thousand different meanings
depending on how you perceive the power of touch in body language.
It is a
basic need to be touched. We definitely need to be stroked
and have physical
contact with other people to survive. As we mature, we continue
to heed that
need of touching and being touched.
Touch can convey respect and trust, and is also a way to differentiate
power between people.
Touching as an ingredient of body language
can be a powerful tool if done
with finesse, with precision, and with accuracy. You must
learn the art of touching
in order to send your signals to the other person.
Timing is important, as some people will react negatively
if you touch them
too soon or too much. It has to be done at the right time
in a suitable way, or the
result would not be one that you expect. Be keen to the circumstances
and the
mood.
You can determine the appropriateness of your touch and your
ability to
adjust to the circumstances, by how your receiver reacts to
it. If the person
seems to lean or get closer to you, you`ve made the right
move. But if the person
seems to back off, this means you did not touch properly,
so you have to make
some adjustments.
Conclusion
Undeniably, communication is as important as life itself.
It would be
unimaginable how chaotic the world would be without communication.
Even
primitive people tried to find ways to communicate when things
were much
simpler then. In our modern and fast paced age, its necessity
is a thousand folds
over.
There are varied forms of communication. Each form is valuable,
non-
verbal communication being one of them. One of the illustrations
that somewhat
resembles or falls under the category of non-verbal communication
is the way the
deaf and mute communicate. But probably, the most profound
form is body
language. It is probably the least known, not because it is
the least effective but
because it is the least noticed; yet it is one of the most
practiced, subconsciously.
We are all using it but we hardly notice that we're doing
it. It's one of the most
reliable sources of truthful information.
Action speaks louder than words and body language is the literal
translation to this statement. If time is a factor in the
delivery of a meaning, body
language may be the way to communicate. This is another essence
of action
speaking louder than words.
Body language is made available to us naturally. It comes
spontaneously.
All you need to do is to know how to interpret and develop
it to its full potential.
Don't deny yourself this skill. Yes, this is a skill. And
what you have just read and
learned from this book will be beneficial to you in every
activity you engage
yourself into. Read this book over and over again if you have
to, till you are
comfortable with this new skill. Use this book
as a reference. You'll be delighted
you did.
Remember to keep this in mind: Learning body language from
this book
does not stop here. Experience is the key factor. Experience
will sharpen your
body language skills to greater heights and consistency. Body
language may not
be absolute but your degree of efficiency will certainly be
high. |
|
