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Introduction To "How A Pasty
White Computer Nerd Got 14 Hot First Dates In 47 Days
With The Power Of Online Dating"
Brought to you by
Thank
you for purchasing "How A Pasty White
Computer Nerd Got 14 Hot First Dates In 47 Days With
The Power Of Online Dating".
How To Use This Guide
The best advice I can give you is to read everything over once.
If you can, do it in one sitting, then re read it
again. Then, read the sections again that you are
not sure about, and if you can, get someone else to
read it as well, and both of you make notes.
There are plenty of website links in this book so it probably is best to read
this book while you are online so you can see exactly
what I'm talking about through out the book.
What This Guide Is About And Who It's For
I hope by the time you finish this book you will realise just how
powerful this
information is. This is not some rehashed dating manual which spews out bad information
that will HURT your chances of dating successfully.
This book isn't written by a prolific writer who's job it is to churn out books
by the dozen which he has no expertise on, it's written
by a guy who struggled for years to realize exactly
what it is that turns women on and off.
This book is for all the guys out there who are sick of being told "I just want
to be friends" or "you're a really nice guy but It's
just not the right time in my life for a relationship"
and about one hundred other excuses I've heard over
and over again.
This book doesn't just cover Internet dating, it covers all the aspects of what
make men successful with women.
Internet dating has made meeting beautiful women so much easier, hence why I've
been using it for the last 2 years with great success.
Chapter 1 - Why Internet Dating?
I get asked
this question all the time. Why
use Internet dating over any other method of meeting
women?
I mean, there are hundreds of ways to meet women and they are all great and have
their advantages.
Speed dating Singles events Through friends Offline dating agencies Personal
ads In bars and nightclubs Taking courses at local
colleges And the list goes on and on.....
BUT
Internet dating is KING and here is why.
It's cheap It's quick It's fun It's simple to use There are thousands of women
in your area now online And the biggest reason of
all, IT'S A GREAT PLACE TO LEARN WITHOUT THE FEAR
OF FACE TO FACE REJECTION!
Like it or not, rejection is part of the dating process, even the hottest most
successful guys with dating get rejected more times
then they hear a yes.
In someways dating is a numbers game, but most men have TERRIBLE odds when it
comes to dating. My job in this book is to lower the
odds for you and make you more successful with the
type of women you want to date.....
and I know you're busy, that's why Internet dating is great. Put up a profile,
tweak it a bit until it sounds good and away you go.
It's your own automated dating machine thats up 24/7
attracting women around the clock.
You don't have to be attractive, rich or anything like that. In fact, the guys
I know who are most successful with women don't have
a lot of money and they are just average looking men,
nothing special about them, except they know what
women want, they behave and hold themselves in ways
women find attractive.
My Story
I'm a skinny
guy, bout 6'3, by no means ugly,
but by no means a bulging muscle bound model.
I've always been a little shy, which is fine, always been a little awkward in
social situations, never had much confidence in myself
around women.
I had NO luck with dating. When I was 16 I got lucky and landed a girlfriend,
and we were together for 3 years, but after that, I
went 3 years without even 1 date. Partly because I was
consumed with work and partly because I was turning
women off with the way I acted around them.
But about 2 years ago I got fed up with being dateless and looking around and
seeing UGLY
guys with girlfriends and in most cases HOT girls. I thought if these guys are
meeting these women and they're not rich, successful
or even good looking, I must be doing something wrong.
What these guys had that I didn't have was the right attitude, the right frame
of mind, and I get into this in the next chapter.
So I learned everything I could about women, psychology, what makes women attracted
to certain types of guys and I even read a book called
"sperm wars" which is all about evolution.
I now am able to meet, talk to and date beautiful women like it's the easiest
thing in the world to do, and the only thing that changed
about me was my attitude and the skills and knowledge
I learnt from making lots of mistakes.
I didn't get more attractive, I didn't become mega rich, I just learnt to be
what women want.
Chapter 2 - Step 1: Understanding The Law
Of Attraction!
For women attraction
isn't a choice, they
either feel it for you or they don't, it's that simple.
If a woman doesn't feel
attraction for you from the start, they more then likely never will.
You cannot convince a woman to feel attraction for you. Let me explain,
Just because you're rich, attractive, successful, drive a nice car, take her
to fancy dinners, buy her expensive things, that won't
make her feel attraction for you.
I know, it's not logical I get it, but women don't choose mates on logic. They
might say they do, but they don't.
Women choose mates by their level of attraction they have for them (unless they
are money hungry women after you for only your wallet)
and not for what you can give them in return.
Men seem to think bribing women with gifts will make them fall in love with you,
but it has the total opposite effect, women see this
as you needing their approval because you don't think
you are worthy enough to date them without having to
buy them things in return.
Why do you think so many women get into relationships with bad boys who treat
them terribly? Because these guys trigger an attraction
inside these women. It's not logical, I know, but it's
a fact.
I'm not saying you have to treat women terribly to make them feel attraction
for
you, but you don't have to cater to a womans every need.
Women would rather date a poor guy with no money who's charming, funny, cocky
and just a fun date then a guy who's rich, buys them
things and is stuffy and boring.
Women want what women want and you can either be what they want or be what they
don't want, it's your choice.
This book isn't about changing you to suit women, it's about showing you that
you don't need to do all these things to make women
attracted to you, you don't need to bribe them, you
don't need to stress if one woman doesn't like you,
this is your life, you choose who you date, not the
other way around.
What Qualities Do Women Find Attractive
In Men?
Women when asked
will say they want a nice
guy who treats them like a pricness and pretty much
has no balls of his own. They like the idea of getting
flowers and having a sensitive guy to talk to about
their problems.
All women will tell you they want to date the nice guy or that they can never
seem to find a nice guy to date.
The problem is, this isn't exactly correct. These women arn't lying when they
say they want these things.... on the surface they do,
because it makes sense, it makes sense to want a guy
like this, but on a subconscious level, they really
want a man who takes control and acts like a man should
So what qualities do women want in men?
What they've always wanted and always will want. Women want their men to be men
and not wussy boys who ask for approval to scratch their
noses.
I know this sounds harsh, but it's true.
Have you ever noticed the following?
When you give a girl a compliment or tell a girl how beautiful she is she shys
away from you?
BUT
When you notice a flaw about her she will get more involved in the conversation
and take you more seriously.
Have you ever noticed....
When you buy girls gifts and take them to expensive dinners they end up later
that night thanking you for a great evening and going
out with another guy?
BUT
If you just go for a quick drink and act like you are equals she feels attracted
to you because you're not catering to her every whim.
Have you noticed when....
You call a girl often after a date and she seems distant and funny
BUT
When you don't call her and you act like you're busy and could live with her
or without her, she won't stop calling you.
WOMEN DON'T WANT TO BE CATERED TO, HOUNDED, TREATED LIKE PRINCESSES OR ANY OTHER
RUBBISH YOUR MOTHER TOLD YOU ABOUT DATING.
This is from my experience what women want from a man.....
They Want You To Be Confident
They Want You To Lead
They Don't Want You To Get Emotional
They Want You To Be Fun With No Hang Ups
They Want You To Make Them Laugh
They Want You To Make Them Wonder
They Want You To Be Interesting
They Want You To Know What You Want From Life
Want to learn how to do those things.... read on!
Hard And Fasting Dating Rules You Must
Follow At All Times - The Right Attitude To Have Towards
Women, Dating And Life!
This whole section
is some of the most
powerful information you will ever read, not just about
dating but about life in general.
When your life is going to plan, you feel confident and when you feel confident,
you exude a persona that naturally attracts people and
makes them want to be around you. No one likes dating
a sad sack.
These rules are what I live my life by and were written by me for me, I never
thought I would share these rules with anyone except
maybe my future children.
Dating Rules
Rule 1: Always be confident in yourself - MAIN RULE!
People who have real confidence in themselves attract people naturally.
People can tell
when you are confident with yourself and where you are going with your life.
If you're not confident in yourself, why? Is it because you have no money? Is
it because you think you're overweight or ugly?
All of this can be overcome with confidence. Honestly, girls (girls we want to
date) don't care a lot about these things. Of course,
if you are really over weight and you have bad teeth
and you dress like a hobo, change yourself.
It's that simple. If you want to be sucessful with women, you can't hide behind
excuses to fail.
I know a lot of men who arn't rich and arn't good looking who are very successful
with women because they act like they are good looking
and they are rich, they act in ways that make men
and women naturally attracted to them.
A happy go lucky guy who smiles a lot will get x10 the amount of attention as
a sad sack sitting in the corner no matter how hot
or rich he is.
Be happy with yourself, but if there is something holding you back from being
a more outgoing person, fix it.
I had a large mole on my face and while no women seemed to care about it, it
made me
feel selfconscious and I didn't feel confident in my looks, so I got it removed.
The only real different I see now is not in my looks but in my personality. I
feel better about MYSELF and I did it for MYSELF,
I didn't do it for women's approval, I did it because
I wanted to be more outgoing and feel better about
myself.
Rule 2: Relax - be totally calm - act like u dont need her
As you can tell these rules are not in any particular order but
when you first start dating someone, act calm, be
cool.
Especially on the first date, be cool. Don't be nervous, don't get all excited
and act like a goof.
Don't act desperate around women, just be yourself and not worry about the outcome,
dating should be fun!
Rule 3: Be Cocky and Funny - be outgoing and have fun AND BE FUN TO BE
AROUND - be charming/gentleman
You will hear me talk about being cocky and funny a lot in this
book, it's something I learnt from another dating
book (which if you have a couple hundred dollars spare,
you should pick up at
http://www.doubleyourdating.com
).
Being cocky to me means not being afraid to joke around with women. Men are so
scared to be themselves around women that they act
all uptight and nervous and are not sure what to say.
Don't worry about. Most men by nature are not big mouth arrogant SOB's, so just
say what's on your mind.
Talking about sex and other taboo subjects is FINE. Teasing a girl lightly is
fine, as long as it's funny and a little bit cocky.
Be the fun guy to hang around, make dating fun for you and her.
Rule 4: Don't get emotional even if the woman does - women will test you
- nothing to be insecure about
This rule IS SO IMPORTANT when you start dating someone more seriously.
I made this mistake a couple of times early on and
the relationships ended pretty soon after.
If a woman says something to you that makes you feel nervous, angry, upset and
you feel like you're going to get overly emotional
and say something you will regret, FOR THE GOOD OF
YOUR SANITY, Don't say anything.
It's a lot easier to say nothing then it is to take something stupid back. Think
before you speak. Women will always do this. Women
will blame you for things that are not your fault,
things will happen in their lives that
make them emotional, you're job is to stay calm.
I'll give you a personal example. I started dating a girl I REALLY liked, but
a couple of weeks into the relationship, she told
me she was pregnant and she wasn't sure who the father
was, because before she started dating me, she was
seeing two other guys.
I freaked out, and you probably think, well rightly so, and it was probably for
the best things ended, but, breaking up with someone
is better when you're the one breaking up with the
girl
I know this sounds childish, but it's true. It's a mental thing. Being dumped
is a horrible feeling and take's longer to get over.
Rule 5: Lead in the relationship - Always be a man - IE Dad - say things
like "you do what you wanna do"
Girls like a guy who will lead in the relationship. I don't mean
bossy, I mean lead. It's a manly thing to do.
When a woman asks what you want to do, don't reply back, "I dunno, what do you
want to do", take the bull by the horn's and make
a decision. I know it's a bit of a pain to be the
one who does this all the time, but it really works.
I also added a part about my dad in this rule. He is one of those old fashioned
type of guy's, always leads, makes executive decions.
He isn't wishy washy.
Also, when women throw things at you that you're not expecting, never over react,
I touched on this just before, and I'm going to again.
If a girl says she's going out with male friends, or seeing an ex boyfriend,
don't flip your lid, this is the quickest way to push
her away.
Just say things like, "you do what you wanna do", "it's your life, I'm not your
father, have fun". Saying things like this make you
sound confident in yourself and don't really care
what she does.
Begging her not to go and doing all sorts of crazy things guys do will push her
away for good.
Rule 6: Live an active and full life - you come first - plenty of fish
in the sea - Always keep busy
Most of you are probally thinking how am I going to remember all
these things, and you're not suppose to really. Use
them all, or use just a few, refer to them often and
they will sink in over time.
But if you only remember one dating rule, this is it.
Always keep busy! Never make too much time for a girl when you first start dating.
All the other rules will fall into place if you just
follow this one.
When you're sitting at home with nothing to do, you will be tempted to want to
ring any girl you're dating too much and you will
become too available.
If she's says lets make plans for tuesday, say no you're busy, how about wednesday.
Get a hobby, play a sport, go out more with your friends and if you don't have
any friends, make some!
Keep your mind busy and everything else will fall into place because you will
be too busy with your life to care what she is doing.
She will be just a nice little extra in your life,
not your whole life!
Keep busy guys!
Rule 7: Don't rush the dating process - build the mystery - forcing repells
attraction
Again, this goes with keeping busy. Never see a girl more then
twice a week for at least the first 10 to 20 dates.
Seriously. I know you will want to spend all your
time with someone if you think she's the one, but,
you need to build the attraction, not force it.
This way is best for both of you. I feel most guys will settle for a girl because
she wants a relationship, even tho she might not be
the girl for him.
Take your time, have fun, date multiple women, it's ok.
Rule 8: Let things go, the past is the past - but always tell it as it
is - no hangups!
Every one has a past, and if I've made any mistake too much, its
this one. You have to accept people for who they are,
if you really like someone, leave the past where it
belongs, in the past.
We all have baggage. Of course, there are limits.
Rule 9: Don't write sappy emails ever, never write anything because of
fear or insecurity
What is it with guys and writing sappy letters or emails when they
feel like they are losing the girl or have lost the
girl.
If a girl breaks up with you, let it go, move on with your life, start dating
again and you will find this will bring back love
quicker then a sappy email professing your undying
love for the girl.
Think before you speak, think before you type!
Rule 10: Girls find a guy hot when he has a plan for life - IE I told a
girlfriend about my dreams for life
I don't know what it is, but when your talking about something
your passionate about, people are naturally attracted
to you.
I use to date a girl who played guitar and she was so passionate about it, it
was a real turn on. She knew what she wanted to be
and I found that sexy.
Same thing applies to men. I tell girls about my dream of running the largest
publishing company in the world one day and girls
find my passion and that idea really attractive.
Rule 11: Don't appologise for the sake of appologising - Don't appologise
if you've done nothing wrong
This is a real turn off for women. Guys have a habit of appologising
for girls bad behaviours and it's not on.
Women see this as a sign of weakness. If a girl is doing something or saying
something you don't like, tell her that. If she's
acting bratty, tell her that.
Don't put up with moody behaviour just because she thinks you deserve to be treated
that way, you don't.
Rule 12: First Date Advice - Lean Back Relax Don't Be Nervous, Be Confident,
Funny, Cocky, But Don't Take It Too Far!
I must admit, one date I did take the cocky and funny routine a
bit far and probably was a bit more relaxed then I
should have been and I came across very arrogant and
sarcastic.
Arrogance is a huge turn off and there is a fine line between that and cocky
and funny.
Rule 13: No matter how funny or cocky you are, treat sex with respect.
If you do have sex with a girl, make it special, like
she's the only one that matters.
Rule 14: Dress well, but don't over do it!
Personal Life
Rule 1: Exercise often - 100 situps, 100 pushups, running, work on arms
Girls don't care if you're not buff, but looks are important too.
Take care of your body if for no one else but yourself.
I do 100 situps, 100 pushups every day. I do a light weight session focusing
on building bigger arms and chest muscles. I also
run 3 times a week. This is a perfect workout that
takes very little time out of your week and will make
you look and feel a lot better inside and out, I guarantee
it!
Rule 2: Never let anything or anyone overwhelm my emotions to the point
of incapacitation
Nothing in life is worth letting your life go down the drains for.
If something bad happens, pick yourself up, don't
stop working or letting your finances suffer.
Rule 3: Be Independent always
Rule 4: Always keep learning new things and travel
Read lots, watch documentaries, take courses and travel all you
can. You'll thank me for this advice one day.
Rule 5: Always have fun always have a positive attitude - everything will
be ok
Rule 6: Every day or when you feel stressed sit silent for 30 minutes and think
about nothing just relax
This great advice I received from Allen Says, you can read the
whole principle behind this at ....
http://www.instantgurublog.com/?p=17#comments
Rule 7: Don't let little things rattle you -
never over react
Life is full of little surprises, just like
dating, but let them rattle you, just keep
going on with your life like nothing happened.
He who angers you becomes your master.
Rule 8: Create a life's to do list and follow thru with it completely and
systematically
This is something you must do. Everyone has goals for life, I don't
care if it's only 4 things, write them down and check
them off.
I have close to 100 things I want to do before I do, like learn to speak German,
go to Oktoberfest, things like that.
I also have more serious things like, Run the largest publishing company in the
world, which I still quite havn't checked off yet
;)
Rule 9: Set high goals and standards for your life and never let anyone
compromise them
Rule 10: Always have an open mind and don't be judgemental
Rule 11: Don't Get Moody With People! - Just Relax!
Nothing lowers the level of conversation more than raising the
voice.
Rule 12: You Miss 100% Of The Shots You Don't Take!
It's Alright To Have Faults And Be Yourself -
You Have My Permission To Make Mistakes
Like
I said in the above section, I've made
mistakes before and at the time I thought I was the
biggest idiot, but it's all a part of learning how to
be successful with women.
No one is perfect and it's ok to have quirky little habits, no woman expects
you to be perfect or a dating robot that knows exactly
what to do at all times.
The main thing is to make sure it doesn't get you down and you don't stop trying
if you have a bad experience. Every woman isn't going
to like you and vice versa, but....
You miss 100% of all shots you don't take!
Chapter 3 - Step 2 Find 3 Online Dating
Sites To Put Your Online Profile On
There are THOUSANDS
of online dating sites
out there, so what one's best for you?
For starters, the best idea is to cast a wide net and put your profile on at
least 3 online dating sites.
What I've been doing recently is I've been putting my profile on 2 large online
dating sites and one niche dating site.
For instance right now I'm using Match.com, Yahoo personals and RSVP.com.au which
is a smaller Australian Internet dating site.
I usually get a lot more of the women I like and that are closer to me by using
the niche online dating site, but I get the bulk of
my dates from women on Match.com and Yahoo personals.
So what sites should you be using?
I really recommend you use Match.com as one of your choices.
Here are a list of online dating sites I recommend trying.
Yahoo Personals Lava Life Adultmatchmaker.com Eharmony.com - Do the questionaire!
Americansingles.com Adultfriendfinder.com Jdate.com
Christiansoulmates.com Date.com Friendfinder.com Singleparentsmingle.com
Chapter 4 - Step 3
How To Write A Killer Online Profile With Samples!
The MOST IMPORTANT
aspect of any successful
Internet dating venture is your online profile. Personally,
I use 2 profiles to attract dates.
The bad boy profile which attracts a certain more wilder person, and the nice
guy profile that attracts the nice girls you would be
proud to bring home to mother.
Feel free to steal and change these profiles. What ever you do, don't just copy
them as they are, it would look stupid seeing hundreds
of profiles online exactly the same, and besides, you
really should put your own personality into it, as this
profile is about you and not about me.
Of course, you can use them as is if you want, but you will get better results
if you tweak them to suit your personality.
If you are the more cocky and confident person, use the "bad boy" profile, but
make sure you are the same person online as you are offline
or it will be a waste of time.
You must also have a photo on your profile! If they give you room to put up more
then one photo, don't do it, just put one good photo up
of you.
The Bad Boy Profile
Intro: Top 10 ways to scare any guy off, including me, inside
Interests:
Music: Dance, trance, house, you know what I'm talking about. Ministry of sound
etc. I also watch Video Hits, so you can rest assure
that I'm up to date with every new rappers name and
criminal record.
Reading: I read anything I can get my hands on. I run a publishing company, so
I get paid to read.
Movies: Comedies! Love a good comedy. Teen comedies. Anything with breasts. Also
anything set in the 18th and 19th century like Hornblower,
Napoleon and boring crap like that. James bond!
Sport: I play professional cricket and basketball/league for fun. Like extreme
sports and paintball. No, not laser skirmish, ugh. Yes,
I'm going to list going to the gym because I ACTUALLY
do it.
Other interests: Sitting in my hottub looking out over the city listening to
dance music. Love to travel, spent 6 months living in
Spain and 2 years living in Perth. Cars, imports (supra's!)
and SUV's.
Profile Body:
- Tell him that he looks like your father
- Tell him that he looks like your mother
8. Talk about your doll collection in third person
7. Talk about your recent hernia operation
6. Showing him the hernia in a jar
5. Confessing your love for hitler on the first date. You should wait at least
2 or 3 dates for that one.
4. Talk about your co workers annoying habits while pinching food off his plate.
3. Talk about children and marriage on the first date.
2. Say you look nothing like your photo after you sent him a photo of imogen
bailey
1. Last but not least, never say "I've seen bigger" about any part of his body
Now if you promise not to talk about these things send me an email. Be warned
I'm not looking for pen pals. I'm too much fun to be
around to just leave it at writing emails.
Next week I'll list the top 10 things guys don't want to hear women say, including
my favorite, "That's not the way my ex did it".
Relationship sought: Short-term or Long-term Relationship with a Female
Ideal partner:
Between 18 and 45 years old
Incredibly intelligent and amazingly beautiful. Someone who finds my jokes funny
is a plus. No stalkers or clingy people please, I'm
not sure what I'm looking for, but I know its not that.
Someone who believes anything in life is possible, because
it is!
The Nice Guy Profile
Intro: New to the scene..... Interests: Music: Most types, whatever
is good at the
time Reading: Horror, Drama Movies: Horror, Comedy, Drama Sport: Swimming, Tennis,
Rugby Other interests: Art Profile Body: I'm an easy
going nice guy, trying to find
the right person, I enjoy intellectual conversations, late night beach walks,
clubbing, music of most types, reading,
tennis and swimming, among other things. Love pets, dogs and cats mainly, so
you would need to be an animal lover.
I might party hard, but I also enjoy quiet nights at home watching a DVD, or
doing things that couples do in their own private space.
With that said, I'm the type of guy of both extremes, so finding someone willing
to spend quality time with has been more difficult then
first thought, hence signing up with this site, hopefully
it works out well???
Relationship sought: Short-term or Long-term Relationship with a Male or Female
Ideal partner:
Between 18 and 35 years old
I'm looking for someone who is understanding, uses common sense, someone who
is confident in themself and knows where they're going
in life, and are happy with that direction. Age doesn't
mean that much to me, as long as there is a connection,
building rapport between one another is important.
A Profile For The Older Gent Or Men Who Want To
Attract Younger Women
Intro: A stick insect walks into a bar... Interests:
Music: club mixes, trance, ministry of sound
stuff and old stuff , rolling stones, acdc, 80's. Fav
track at the moment is scott bond vs solarstone 3rd
earth remix. Reading: yes, i can read. that's why i
buy those magazines, for the articles. Not the pictures,
i swear.
Movies: lord of the rings trilogy, matrix..first two, third was...disappointing.
arthouse. subtitles don't scare me and we've already
established that i can read. Currently hooked on Asian
martial arts movies tho the only thing i know about
'kung fu' is how to spell it.
Sport: Not so much sport as fitness, gym, bike, run, kayak, ill have a go at
most things. Also follow motorsport (mostly bikes) and
golf. And, in a reversal of male / female stereotypes,
you go to the footy, I'll stay home and watch the grass
grow.
Other interests: many and varied. you should ask me.
Profile Body:
I figure talking to yourself is acceptable but talking to yourself in a pirates
voice probably isn't. I started doing that today and
i figure i need to get out more and meet some people
before i topple over the brink into complete madness.
Don't be alarmed thou, all the sharp utensils are under
lock and key.
OK, i realise this profile tends more toward the humourous rather than the serious
which i guess is indicative of my personality so here
are some details which might help to round out the picture.
I work as a paid firefighter, a job i love and have been doing for over 155 years.
Days off are spent keeping fit, reading, going to the
movies, riding bikes...both mountain and motor and,
of course, looking for my favourite hat.
I have a large family whom i see fairly often but not often enough. I grew up
in the country (or should i say i got older in the country)
but, after 20 years in melbourne, any trace of the "country
boy" is well and truely gone.
Whilst I have your attention, can you please be who, and what, you say you are
in your profile. Ideal partner:
Between 25 and 42 years old , at most 5'7"/170 cm from AUSTRALIA
Hmmmmmm, Fit, fun, confident, adventurous, young or young at heart and can tell
me where i left my favourite hat. It's gotta be around
here somewhere. Oh, on the off chance you do feel sufficiently
inspired to send me a kiss, please include your photo
password if applicable ;-)
Chapter 5 - Step 4: Learn To Write Effective
Email Followups
Ok, so you're
online, you're searching for
profiles of other women and you find a few you want
to email, what next?
The first email is crucial. You have to remember, women are getting sometimes
hundreds of emails a day, so you have to stand out straight
away!
Just like in marketing, your headline should be eye grabbing!
The best way to do this is to mention something about her profile in your headline.
I've made the mistake of writing things like "hey there"
in the subject heading and it's really not a good idea.
If in the photo she puts on her profile, she's wearing something unique comment
on it.
Example Subject Headings
Where did you get that necklace from?
I don't think you're going to like me....
That top you are wearing is....
You're lucky I emailed you!
etc....
Things like that get a womans attention when she's reading her email.
Thats the first mistake most people make, the second one is they write too much
in their first email! They write a whole life story.
Just keep it short and sweet.
Here is an example first email I use.
Heya,
If you want to have an enthralling chat/get to know me better my msn address
is myemailaddress@here.com so that's the place to do
it, or even better, over a crownie or 3 :) I live in
Robertson, near sunnybank plaza/garden city.
I'm off to try and find a place that does a decent oysters kilpatrick, so have
a good night.
Cheers
your name, your profile id name
P.S. make a funny comment here about her profile/suggest if she doesn't have
msn to either download it or buy you a beer and meet
up instead.
Notice I don't try and get an email relationship happening, you need to hook
your date quickly.
You need to get from one step to the other quickly.
If she emails you back and says she doesn't have msn or any instant chat device,
ask her for her phone number.
It's that simple. Don't become email buddies!
Chapter 6 - Step 5: Learn How To Use Instant
Messaging With Success
Ok, so you've
got the girl on msn or ICQ or
whatever you want to use, what next? Chatting online
is the best way to work on chatting to women without
the fear of being nervous or making a fool of yourself
in public. Just have fun and go with the flow.
Don't bog the conversation down with general chit chat. Talking about the weather,
what she does for a living are things you can talk about
when you're dating.
The idea of chatting online is to get the girls phone number and move to the
next step.
Here is a sample conversation I had with a girl very recently after moving her
from email to msn....
Me: hey stinky, how goes it Her: I do no stink Her: I'm good, feelin better Her:
And u? Me: Much better Me: So when are you going to
buy me that
beer? Me: I'm busy this weekend and I want to make
sure you are completely over your cold so you don't infect me by sitting to close
to me. Her: hahah, I won't infect you promise! Me: Give
me your mobile # and I'll give you a
call when I'm not busy, I want to make sure you're really not a 59 year old man,
who's overweight.
Her: Oh yah, because being overweight would
make all the difference. Me: Stop stalling and give me the digits.... :P
Her: Ok, (number here), just don't stalk me.
Me: No worries about that, it's my week off. Ne way, gotta run, I'll ring you
when I'm free.
And that is how it's done my friends.
Chapter 7 - Step 6: Learn How To Use The
Phone With Success
93% of all communication
is done with your
voice tone and body language. If you ring up a woman
asking for a date and you sound like mickey mouse and
are all nervous, you've blown it straight away, no questions
asked.
Again, the idea of using the phone is to get the date, not to have a general
chit chat. Most guys have this habit of speaking for
ages on the phone and not getting to the point.
Before you ring, think about what you are going to say, how you are going to
say it and what you are going to say if she throws a
curve ball at you.
Go into the phone call with a plan, think about what you are going to say and
you will be fine. Too many people fear confrontation,
just ask for the date and if she says no, she says no,
just move on.
If you don't get a returned call you should probably move on, happy that you
didn't waste another moment with a rude jerk.
If, on the other hand you're the adventurous type, you can try this. Call the
person up, but don't leave messages on their answering
machine or voice mail. Wait for the person to answer.
Just so you know, phones these days usually tell people who has called, hungup,
when and how many times, so please dont ring 50 times
a day, because more then likely they will know you were
doing it and it looks a bit stalkerish.
If after you called a few times over a few days and no one picks up, leave a
short, funny message about not being able to get a hold
of her and she can ring you back.
Chapter 8 - Step 7: Meet Up For The First
Time And Be
Confident!
So you've got
the date but you have no idea
where you are going to go on your first date?
The best date in my opinion goes as follows.
You ring up the girl, tell her to meet you at your favorite cafe or bar for a
quick drink.
Chat for an hour or so, call it a night, go home.
That's what works for me and for every guy I know who is good with dating.
Guys try and impress to hard on first dates and take them to the most expensive
restaurants and buy them fancy dinners.
If end up spending more then $20 on a date, its too much. I can remember the
best date of my life I brought 2 beers and she brought
a wine and that was it.
We chatted for an hour or so, I ended the night and went home.
Make sure you never let your first dates go for too long, I never let them go
over 2 hours and most only last an hour or so.
It's not about how long you spend on the date or how much money you spend, its
about the impression you leave on the girl.
If you are funny and confident and the girl has a blast, all you need is an hour.
Yes, I've taken girls home after a first date like this, but I don't recommend
it.
Like I said in the previous chapter, body language and voice tone are so important
when dating. You want to speak with confidence, walk
with confidence and BE confident.
Here are a few tips I use.
-Do everything slowly
What I mean by that is don't look like your panicked or in a rush. Make every
movement deliberate and cool.
-Walk slowly and upright
When you're walking, always walk with your shoulders back and slowly. Stand upright
with good posture and stick your chest out and look
around like you own the place.
-When sitting, lean back in your chair
Don't lean right forward and smother the girl, give her space, lean right back
and look like you're too comfortable.
-Maintain eye contact and never mumble
Always look at her in the eyes when you're talking and never mumble or cover
your mouth when you speak.
Here are more date ideas if you must do something other then a quick drink
Take a drive down to the beach and walk and talk. It's a cheap
date and a good way to find out about the other person.
Ring up your local pool hall, find out when its the quietest and go have a game
of pool together.
Go to mini golf. The beauty of mini golf is there will be a lot of other couples
around as well and families, so it makes for a comfortable
setting.
Take your date to a concert. If you've been friends with this person for a while,
you'll know what he or she likes and you can work on
that. If you don't know the person well,
Take your date on a picnic by the water. Make sure there are plenty of rest rooms
and shelter around just in case.
Go to the casino. This is not everyone's cup of tea, but what could be more exciting
then winning big. They will never forget it.
Go go-karting. This is a great way to find out if your date will try just about
anything once.
Take your date golfing. Find a local golf course that caters to beginners and
do only 9 holes.
Go to the golf driving range. This is probably a better idea then golfing, it's
cheaper, shorter in time and more fun.
Have your palms read. Most women find this sort of thing very interesting.
Take a limo ride around the city. To find the best deals, use the Internet to
find local companies with websites.
Go to a roof top or revolving restaurant. Eating outdoors always makes things
more memorable, just remember to make a booking first.
Go to a day spa together and get a massage. Go on the Internet to find the best
deals.
Go hot air balooning. Probably not the ideal first date as it's a little expensive
and hot air balooning is done very early in the morning.
Go on a lunch date. Perfect idea if you work together, just make sure your date
knows it's a date and not a friendly outing.
Go to a local museum. The most popular types of museums are the interactive types,
with displays, not things like art galleries.
If your date is the sporting type, take her to a local sporting event. You could
even go to a college game.
If you know how to ride a motorbike, take your date for a ride somewhere scenic
or at nightime in the city.
Go to the batting cages. Not everyone's idea of a great date, but you'll soon
find out if your date is easy going or high matainence.
Frisbee golf is another date idea that will certainly tell you what type of person
you are dating. If you are not sure what frisbee
golf is, go to google.com and look it up, it's a lot of fun.
Go to your local jazz club and relax. Everyone loves jazz.
Go to the zoo. Most zoo's have nigh time exhibits or exhibits out of the norm
for people to see.
Go to the local fair. Every year we have a local fair where I live that has show
bags, rides etc.
Getting up early and going to the flea markets is a very cheap and fun date.
If you are not big on sitting down and talking, this
is the date for you.
Take your date for dinner on the boardwalk. Very romantic!
Chapter 9 - Step 8: Control The Pace Of
The Relationship
Girls have a
tendency to be their own worst
enemy when it comes to killing attraction. If a girl
had a really great time with you, she will ring you
constantly, but it's your job as the man to control
the relationship.
You don't have to pick up the phone everytime she rings you know.
Talking to each other constantly will ruin the attraction when you first start
dating.
Here is what I do after a good date.
I ring her the next day, tell her I had a great, hope she did too, make some
sort of funny comment, and go, "well, I gotta go, I'm
pretty busy, so have fun, bye".
As you noticed, I didn't ask for a second date straight off the bat. I want her
wondering about me for a while, building anticipation.
I don't want to come across as needy and desperate.
Don't text her, don't email her, don't talk to her on msn, icq and don't ring
her for a few days, then out of the blue, ask her for
a second date.
If she rings you, you can pick up and go I'm kinda busy right now, and can't
talk, so why don't we meet up, Tuesday next week at
this place.
She basically did the asking out for you by ringing back and you don't come off
as needy and desperate because you make it look like
it was her idea!
Never see a girl more then 2 times a week when you are first dating for the first
few months and you should be dating other women.
Chapter 10 - Step 9: Date Multiple Women
Most men think
that dating multiple women at
the same time is a wrong thing to do and it's cheating.
They couldn't be farther from the truth my friend.
Men think this because women have told them that guys who date other girls at
the same time are scum, yet they continue to date them....
I'm not talking about sleeping with millions of women every week, I'm talking
about going out and having fun and meeting new people
in a friendly enviroment.
If a woman says after a few dates, I think we should date exclusively, you have
to ask yourself if that's what you want, do you want
a relationship, because that is pretty much what she
is asking.
Just be honest with everyone you date from day one and there will be no problems
what so ever if you want to date multiple women at the
same time.
Just don't cheat on someone if you said you would date them exclusively, don't
be a jerk and treat women badly, just be honest and
have fun and they will respect you for it.
Bonus Article 1: How To Beat Shyness By
Special Guest Author Peter Murphy Of HowToTalkWithConfidence.com
Even the most
confident people have
situations that cause them to be shy. Even famous personalities
and very successful business people experience shyness
at times. (if only they knew the best ways to overcome
shyness) Shyness is nothing to be ashamed of and you can
overcome it when you learn the right way to go about it.
The problem is that you have not been exposed to accurate,
proven ways to deal with shyness.
Shyness can be defined as having difficulty creating a rapport with other people.
For many people, shyness can mean having a hard time thinking
of things to say in a social setting. For others it can
include physical symptoms of apprehension.
For most people, it involves a combination of the two. Social behaviors that
come easily to the average person such as smiling, making
conversation, maintaining eye contact, and a relaxed posture
are extremely difficult for the shy person to achieve.
Making friends and attending social functions may seem like a nightmare to a
shy person. No
one wants to stand in the corner alone, but a shy person may lack the ability
to approach new people.
You can learn how to overcome shyness and build confidence by developing new
habits and social skills. Shy people may have to exert
a large amount of effort in order to start a conversation
or attend a party. Determination is a key factor in learning
how to overcome shyness.
5 Ways To Overcome Shyness:
- Some of the components of shyness are lack of self-confidence and anxiety around
others, difficulty carrying on a conversation, and
a lack of knowledge about the expected behavior in
social situations.
- Shy people can be very intimidated by people in general. Learning how to overcome
shyness may seem like an insurmountable task, but
help is available to you through several sources.
- You must first determine why you are shy. There are always underlying reasons
for the way a person reacts in certain situations.
Next, try behaving in a confident manner in private
and practice until you begin to see results in public.
Walk confidently and speak firmly and soon you'll
find yourself behaving the same confident way in social
settings. As ridiculous as it may seem, forcing yourself
to act as if you are not shy can be
- very helpful in learning how to overcome shyness altogether.
- One way to boost your self-confidence is to always look your best. Looking great
makes you feel great and does wonders for your self-esteem.
- Reduce your fear of rejection by always imagining the worst outcome possible
in every social situation. Then if the outcome is
less traumatic than you imagine, you won't dwell on
the rejection near as much. Observing strangers and
acquaintances and how they relate to others can be
a great tool in learning how to overcome shyness.
- If you are having difficulty overcoming shyness, join clubs or go to events
that interest you. It's a lot more comfortable to
engage in conversations with those who have common
interests.
- The initial conversation will be much easier since you'll already have a topic
of conversation that interests you both.
- If you do not have the confidence to approach someone new, then smile and try
to be approachable. Most people are receptive to a smile
and a friendly face.
You could also consider taking someone that you are comfortable with along to
lessen your anxiety. Shy people are extremely reluctant
to take the risk of approaching new people.
If you want to learn how to overcome shyness, you may have to make an effort
to be outgoing initially, but soon your new habits will
become natural and easy.
There are numerous resources available to you if you need help overcoming shyness.
Professional advice and tips on how to overcome shyness
can be very beneficial if you are having difficulty taking
that first step.
Bonus Article 2: How To Walk With Confidence
By Special Guest Author Sherri L Dodd Of
MomLooksGreat.com
A few days back,
in the midst of my chaotic
holiday shopping excursion, I decided to take refuge in
a pleasant nook of the mall. While gathering my thoughts,
I was presented with the resonance of a confident woman.
Her black leather heeled boots well preceded her appearance.
Once in view, I would guess she was mid- fifties, dressed in form fitting jeans
and a flashy, collared blouse. Her boots allowed a couple
extra inches on her 5’2” height. She came
and went in a flurry with the other holiday shoppers,
but her essence lingered on beyond the completion of my
rest period. I wondered what beliefs in herself did this
woman have to carry herself such an assured manner.
Out of curiosity, how do you feel when you see another woman walking confidently
past you? I am sure that you have had privy to a similar
scene - she is taking long strides with her shoulders
back and chin up as she strolls on down the way.
Sometimes you may think she is attractive (but don’t want to admit it),
other times you may think ‘what the heck is she
so proud of?’ Does it ever irritate you that another
woman might think that she is…as my little sister
says…”All That”?
Confidence in one’s appearance does not equate to vanity, nor does it equate
to being condescending or arrogant. In fact, confidence
is something that we, as moms and aging women, should
all indulge in on a frequent basis. When we learn to look
into ourselves to find what is right with us, we will
begin to find the same steadfast gait within ourselves.
Instead of becoming irritated with those who exude confidence, we will begin
to relate to the feeling. To reiterate a popular cliché,
when our faces are toward the sunshine, we will not see
the shadows. This can be likened to finding happiness
within ourselves instead of pointing shameful fingers
at unsuspecting passer-bys.
Building confidence can start with achievement. When was the last time you made
a goal and stuck to it? I would like to believe that near
the top of your list is the ideal of being fit and healthy.
Let’s take this one and run with it.
When I wrote Mom Looks Great, I wanted the moms who participated in the fitness
program to have the option of this same confident walk
as well as many other benefits upon the completion of
Phase III, if not throughout the entire process and well
into the maintenance stage. I wanted the reader’s
kids to notice that their Mom looks great! I wanted ‘dad’
or ‘significant other’ to acknowledge - “Yeah…Mom
does looks great!” So what aside from the body does
that “looks great” phrase entail?
Looking great is also the spirit within you that transcends your superficial
flesh. It is your aura, your charisma and your soul. This
is why exercise and nutrition play such a vital role in
helping you achieve your goal of looking great.
When you begin a healthy fitness program you begin to look great even before
the weight drops and the muscles tone.
When you live this lifestyle, the changes began almost immediately! You will
begin to sleep better at night (diminishing dark circles
under the eyes), you will have more energy in the following
days (gone are the tired grimaces when someone initiates
movement) and deep inside your brain, the endorphins are throwing a jubilant
celebration (therein lies your improved moods).
This is also what ‘looks great’ has to offer. The resulting weight
loss and muscle tonality will come, but long after you
already have a shine to your skin and a feel-good smile
on your face. Even in these early stages people will begin
to notice.
So then what do you do with the flattering comments people begin to give to you?
When someone says you look great, do you graciously accept
the compliment or do you find an excuse to deflect it?
Even in our worst moments, a stray compliment could find
its way to us and we need to be prepared to accept it
with enthusiasm.
From this day forward, every compliment you receive YOU MUST accept with a smile
and a thank you. After reading this article you are no
longer allowed to counter compliments with self-putdowns
such as “Ugh, [this excuse that you are wrong]”
or “Oh, [I know you don’t mean that]”.
Remember that looking great is not always about the perfect body, the sharpest
clothes or the healthiest hair. It is how you are perceived
by those around you. Take your compliment and use it as
a building block to your confidence.
Thinking back to the unknown female with the self-assured walk, how could you
attain that same confidence? Begin with keeping your thoughts
focused on your goals and the optimism of attaining them.
Follow it up with exercise and nutrition on a consistent basis and top it off
with the sheer acceptance of all compliments, whether
you feel they are justifiable or not. Feel proud about
strutting your self wherever you may be. Sure, some people
may feel irritated just like you once may have been, but
some will think that mom looks great.
In the end, feel happy for the woman who can convey confidence. You never know
the trials she has endured in her life.
Whether she nearly folded from a devastating divorce, endured painful suffering
from a terrible disease or even struggled for years to
lose a detrimental amount of body fat.
Whatever her story, she finally feels a sense of victory | |
