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the
sections again that you are not sure about,
and if you can, get someone else to read it
as well, and both of you make notes.
There
are plenty of website links in this book so
it probably is best to read this book while
you are online so you can see exactly what
I'm talking about through out the book.
What
This Guide Is About And Who It's For
I
hope by the time you finish this book
you will realise just how powerful this
information
is. This is not some rehashed dating manual
which spews out bad information that will
HURT your chances of dating successfully.
This
book isn't written by a prolific writer
who's job it is to churn out books by
the dozen which he has no expertise on,
it's written by a guy who struggled for
years to realize exactly what it is that
turns women on and off.
This
book is for all the guys out there who
are sick of being told "I just want to
be friends" or "you're a really nice guy
but It's just not the right time in my
life for a relationship" and about one
hundred other excuses I've heard over
and over again.
This
book doesn't just cover Internet dating,
it covers all the aspects of what make
men successful with women.
Internet
dating has made meeting beautiful women
so much easier, hence why I've been using
it for the last 2 years with great success.
Chapter
1 - Why Internet Dating?
I
get asked this question all the time.
Why use Internet dating over any other
method of meeting women?
I
mean, there are hundreds of ways to meet
women and they are all great and have
their advantages.
Speed
dating Singles events Through friends
Offline dating agencies Personal ads In
bars and nightclubs Taking courses at
local colleges And the list goes on and
on.....
BUT
Internet
dating is KING and here is why.
It's
cheap It's quick It's fun It's simple
to use There are thousands of women in
your area now online And the biggest reason
of all, IT'S A GREAT PLACE TO LEARN WITHOUT
THE FEAR OF FACE TO FACE REJECTION!
Like
it or not, rejection is part of the dating
process, even the hottest most successful
guys with dating get rejected more times
then they hear a yes.
In
someways dating is a numbers game, but
most men have TERRIBLE odds when it comes
to dating. My job in this book is to lower
the odds for you and make you more successful
with the type of women you want to date.....
and
I know you're busy, that's why Internet
dating is great. Put up a profile, tweak
it a bit until it sounds good and away
you go. It's your own automated dating
machine thats up 24/7 attracting women
around the clock.
You
don't have to be attractive, rich or anything
like that. In fact, the guys I know who
are most successful with women don't have
a lot of money and they are just average
looking men, nothing special about them,
except they know what women want, they
behave and hold themselves in ways women
find attractive.
My
Story
I'm
a skinny guy, bout 6'3, by no means ugly,
but by no means a bulging muscle bound model.
I've
always been a little shy, which is fine,
always been a little awkward in social situations,
never had much confidence in myself around
women.
I
had NO luck with dating. When I was 16 I
got lucky and landed a girlfriend, and we
were together for 3 years, but after that,
I went 3 years without even 1 date. Partly
because I was consumed with work and partly
because I was turning women off with the
way I acted around them.
But
about 2 years ago I got fed up with being
dateless and looking around and seeing UGLY
guys
with girlfriends and in most cases HOT girls.
I thought if these guys are meeting these
women and they're not rich, successful or
even good looking, I must be doing something
wrong.
What
these guys had that I didn't have was the
right attitude, the right frame of mind,
and I get into this in the next chapter.
So
I learned everything I could about women,
psychology, what makes women attracted to
certain types of guys and I even read a
book called "sperm wars" which is all about
evolution.
I
now am able to meet, talk to and date beautiful
women like it's the easiest thing in the
world to do, and the only thing that changed
about me was my attitude and the skills
and knowledge I learnt from making lots
of mistakes.
I
didn't get more attractive, I didn't become
mega rich, I just learnt to be what women
want.
Chapter
2 - Step 1: Understanding The Law Of Attraction!
For
women attraction isn't a choice, they either
feel it for you or they don't, it's that
simple. If a woman doesn't feel
attraction
for you from the start, they more then likely
never will.
You
cannot convince a woman to feel attraction
for you. Let me explain,
Just
because you're rich, attractive, successful,
drive a nice car, take her to fancy dinners,
buy her expensive things, that won't make
her feel attraction for you.
I
know, it's not logical I get it, but women
don't choose mates on logic. They might
say they do, but they don't.
Women
choose mates by their level of attraction
they have for them (unless they are money
hungry women after you for only your wallet)
and not for what you can give them in return.
Men
seem to think bribing women with gifts will
make them fall in love with you, but it
has the total opposite effect, women see
this as you needing their approval because
you don't think you are worthy enough to
date them without having to buy them things
in return.
Why
do you think so many women get into relationships
with bad boys who treat them terribly? Because
these guys trigger an attraction inside
these women. It's not logical, I know, but
it's a fact.
I'm
not saying you have to treat women terribly
to make them feel attraction for
you,
but you don't have to cater to a womans
every need.
Women
would rather date a poor guy with no money
who's charming, funny, cocky and just a
fun date then a guy who's rich, buys them
things and is stuffy and boring.
Women
want what women want and you can either
be what they want or be what they don't
want, it's your choice.
This
book isn't about changing you to suit women,
it's about showing you that you don't need
to do all these things to make women attracted
to you, you don't need to bribe them, you
don't need to stress if one woman doesn't
like you, this is your life, you choose
who you date, not the other way around.
What
Qualities Do Women Find Attractive In Men?
Women
when asked will say they want a nice guy
who treats them like a pricness and pretty
much has no balls of his own. They like
the idea of getting flowers and having a
sensitive guy to talk to about their problems.
All
women will tell you they want to date the
nice guy or that they can never seem to
find a nice guy to date.
The
problem is, this isn't exactly correct.
These women arn't lying when they say they
want these things.... on the surface they
do, because it makes sense, it makes sense
to want a guy like this, but on a subconscious
level, they really want a man who takes
control and acts like a man should
So
what qualities do women want in men?
What
they've always wanted and always will want.
Women want their men to be men and not wussy
boys who ask for approval to scratch their
noses.
I
know this sounds harsh, but it's true.
Have
you ever noticed the following?
When
you give a girl a compliment or tell a girl
how beautiful she is she shys away from
you?
BUT
When
you notice a flaw about her she will get
more involved in the conversation and take
you more seriously.
Have
you ever noticed....
When
you buy girls gifts and take them to expensive
dinners they end up later that night thanking
you for a great evening and going out with
another guy?
BUT
If
you just go for a quick drink and act like
you are equals she feels attracted to you
because you're not catering to her every
whim.
Have
you noticed when....
You
call a girl often after a date and she seems
distant and funny
BUT
When
you don't call her and you act like you're
busy and could live with her or without
her, she won't stop calling you.
WOMEN
DON'T WANT TO BE CATERED TO, HOUNDED, TREATED
LIKE PRINCESSES OR ANY OTHER RUBBISH YOUR
MOTHER TOLD YOU ABOUT DATING.
This
is from my experience what women want from
a man.....
They
Want You To Be Confident
They
Want You To Lead
They
Don't Want You To Get Emotional
They
Want You To Be Fun With No Hang Ups
They
Want You To Make Them Laugh
They
Want You To Make Them Wonder
They
Want You To Be Interesting
They
Want You To Know What You Want From Life
Want
to learn how to do those things.... read
on!
Hard
And Fasting Dating Rules You Must Follow
At All Times - The Right Attitude To Have
Towards Women, Dating And Life!
This
whole section is some of the most powerful
information you will ever read, not just
about dating but about life in general.
When
your life is going to plan, you feel confident
and when you feel confident, you exude a
persona that naturally attracts people and
makes them want to be around you. No one
likes dating a sad sack.
These
rules are what I live my life by and were
written by me for me, I never thought I
would share these rules with anyone except
maybe my future children.
Dating
Rules
Rule
1: Always be confident in yourself - MAIN
RULE!
People
who have real confidence in themselves
attract people naturally. People can tell
when
you are confident with yourself and where
you are going with your life.
If
you're not confident in yourself, why?
Is it because you have no money? Is it
because you think you're overweight or
ugly?
All
of this can be overcome with confidence.
Honestly, girls (girls we want to date)
don't care a lot about these things. Of
course, if you are really over weight
and you have bad teeth and you dress like
a hobo, change yourself.
It's
that simple. If you want to be sucessful
with women, you can't hide behind excuses
to fail.
I
know a lot of men who arn't rich and arn't
good looking who are very successful with
women because they act like they are good
looking and they are rich, they act in
ways that make men and women naturally
attracted to them.
A
happy go lucky guy who smiles a lot will
get x10 the amount of attention as a sad
sack sitting in the corner no matter how
hot or rich he is.
Be
happy with yourself, but if there is something
holding you back from being a more outgoing
person, fix it.
I
had a large mole on my face and while
no women seemed to care about it, it made
me
feel
selfconscious and I didn't feel confident
in my looks, so I got it removed.
The
only real different I see now is not in
my looks but in my personality. I feel
better about MYSELF and I did it for MYSELF,
I didn't do it for women's approval, I
did it because I wanted to be more outgoing
and feel better about myself.
Rule
2: Relax - be totally calm - act like
u dont need her
As
you can tell these rules are not in any
particular order but when you first start
dating someone, act calm, be cool.
Especially
on the first date, be cool. Don't be nervous,
don't get all excited and act like a goof.
Don't
act desperate around women, just be yourself
and not worry about the outcome, dating
should be fun!
Rule
3: Be Cocky and Funny - be outgoing and
have fun AND BE FUN TO BE AROUND - be
charming/gentleman
You
will hear me talk about being cocky and
funny a lot in this book, it's something
I learnt from another dating book (which
if you have a couple hundred dollars spare,
you should pick up at
http://www.doubleyourdating.com ).
Being
cocky to me means not being afraid to
joke around with women. Men are so scared
to be themselves around women that they
act all uptight and nervous and are not
sure what to say.
Don't
worry about. Most men by nature are not
big mouth arrogant SOB's, so just say
what's on your mind.
Talking
about sex and other taboo subjects is
FINE. Teasing a girl lightly is fine,
as long as it's funny and a little bit
cocky.
Be
the fun guy to hang around, make dating
fun for you and her.
Rule
4: Don't get emotional even if the woman
does - women will test you - nothing to
be insecure about
This
rule IS SO IMPORTANT when you start dating
someone more seriously. I made this mistake
a couple of times early on and the relationships
ended pretty soon after.
If
a woman says something to you that makes
you feel nervous, angry, upset and you
feel like you're going to get overly emotional
and say something you will regret, FOR
THE GOOD OF YOUR SANITY, Don't say anything.
It's
a lot easier to say nothing then it is
to take something stupid back. Think before
you speak. Women will always do this.
Women will blame you for things that are
not your fault, things will happen in
their lives that
make
them emotional, you're job is to stay
calm.
I'll
give you a personal example. I started
dating a girl I REALLY liked, but a couple
of weeks into the relationship, she told
me she was pregnant and she wasn't sure
who the father was, because before she
started dating me, she was seeing two
other guys.
I
freaked out, and you probably think, well
rightly so, and it was probably for the
best things ended, but, breaking up with
someone is better when you're the one
breaking up with the girl
I
know this sounds childish, but it's true.
It's a mental thing. Being dumped is a
horrible feeling and take's longer to
get over.
Rule
5: Lead in the relationship - Always be
a man - IE Dad - say things like "you
do what you wanna do"
Girls
like a guy who will lead in the relationship.
I don't mean bossy, I mean lead. It's
a manly thing to do.
When
a woman asks what you want to do, don't
reply back, "I dunno, what do you want
to do", take the bull by the horn's and
make a decision. I know it's a bit of
a pain to be the one who does this all
the time, but it really works.
I
also added a part about my dad in this
rule. He is one of those old fashioned
type of guy's, always leads, makes executive
decions. He isn't wishy washy.
Also,
when women throw things at you that you're
not expecting, never over react, I touched
on this just before, and I'm going to
again.
If
a girl says she's going out with male
friends, or seeing an ex boyfriend, don't
flip your lid, this is the quickest way
to push her away.
Just
say things like, "you do what you wanna
do", "it's your life, I'm not your father,
have fun". Saying things like this make
you sound confident in yourself and don't
really care what she does.
Begging
her not to go and doing all sorts of crazy
things guys do will push her away for
good.
Rule
6: Live an active and full life - you
come first - plenty of fish in the sea
- Always keep busy
Most
of you are probally thinking how am I
going to remember all these things, and
you're not suppose to really. Use them
all, or use just a few, refer to them
often and they will sink in over time.
But
if you only remember one dating rule,
this is it.
Always
keep busy! Never make too much time for
a girl when you first start dating. All
the other rules will fall into place if
you just follow this one.
When
you're sitting at home with nothing to
do, you will be tempted to want to ring
any girl you're dating too much and you
will become too available.
If
she's says lets make plans for tuesday,
say no you're busy, how about wednesday.
Get
a hobby, play a sport, go out more with
your friends and if you don't have any
friends, make some!
Keep
your mind busy and everything else will
fall into place because you will be too
busy with your life to care what she is
doing. She will be just a nice little
extra in your life, not your whole life!
Keep
busy guys!
Rule
7: Don't rush the dating process - build
the mystery - forcing repells attraction
Again,
this goes with keeping busy. Never see
a girl more then twice a week for at least
the first 10 to 20 dates. Seriously. I
know you will want to spend all your time
with someone if you think she's the one,
but, you need to build the attraction,
not force it.
This
way is best for both of you. I feel most
guys will settle for a girl because she
wants a relationship, even tho she might
not be the girl for him.
Take
your time, have fun, date multiple women,
it's ok.
Rule
8: Let things go, the past is the past
- but always tell it as it is - no hangups!
Every
one has a past, and if I've made any mistake
too much, its this one. You have to accept
people for who they are, if you really
like someone, leave the past where it
belongs, in the past.
We
all have baggage. Of course, there are
limits.
Rule
9: Don't write sappy emails ever, never
write anything because of fear or insecurity
What
is it with guys and writing sappy letters
or emails when they feel like they are
losing the girl or have lost the girl.
If
a girl breaks up with you, let it go,
move on with your life, start dating again
and you will find this will bring back
love quicker then a sappy email professing
your undying love for the girl.
Think
before you speak, think before you type!
Rule
10: Girls find a guy hot when he has a
plan for life - IE I told a girlfriend
about my dreams for life
I
don't know what it is, but when your talking
about something your passionate about,
people are naturally attracted to you.
I
use to date a girl who played guitar and
she was so passionate about it, it was
a real turn on. She knew what she wanted
to be and I found that sexy.
Same
thing applies to men. I tell girls about
my dream of running the largest publishing
company in the world one day and girls
find my passion and that idea really attractive.
Rule
11: Don't appologise for the sake of appologising
- Don't appologise if you've done nothing
wrong
This
is a real turn off for women. Guys have
a habit of appologising for girls bad
behaviours and it's not on.
Women
see this as a sign of weakness. If a girl
is doing something or saying something
you don't like, tell her that. If she's
acting bratty, tell her that.
Don't
put up with moody behaviour just because
she thinks you deserve to be treated that
way, you don't.
Rule
12: First Date Advice - Lean Back Relax
Don't Be Nervous, Be Confident, Funny,
Cocky, But Don't Take It Too Far!
I
must admit, one date I did take the cocky
and funny routine a bit far and probably
was a bit more relaxed then I should have
been and I came across very arrogant and
sarcastic.
Arrogance
is a huge turn off and there is a fine
line between that and cocky and funny.
Rule
13: No matter how funny or cocky you are,
treat sex with respect. If you do have
sex with a girl, make it special, like
she's the only one that matters.
Rule
14: Dress well, but don't over do it!
Personal
Life
Rule
1: Exercise often - 100 situps, 100 pushups,
running, work on arms
Girls
don't care if you're not buff, but looks
are important too. Take care of your body
if for no one else but yourself.
I
do 100 situps, 100 pushups every day.
I do a light weight session focusing on
building bigger arms and chest muscles.
I also run 3 times a week. This is a perfect
workout that takes very little time out
of your week and will make you look and
feel a lot better inside and out, I guarantee
it!
Rule
2: Never let anything or anyone overwhelm
my emotions to the point of incapacitation
Nothing
in life is worth letting your life go
down the drains for. If something bad
happens, pick yourself up, don't stop
working or letting your finances suffer.
Rule
3: Be Independent always
Rule
4: Always keep learning new things and
travel
Read
lots, watch documentaries, take courses
and travel all you can. You'll thank me
for this advice one day.
Rule
5: Always have fun always have a positive
attitude - everything will be ok
Rule
6: Every day or when you feel stressed
sit silent for 30 minutes and think about
nothing just relax
This
great advice I received from Allen Says,
you can read the whole principle behind
this at ....
http://www.instantgurublog.com/?p=17#comments
Rule
7: Don't let little things rattle you
- never over react
Life
is full of little surprises, just like
dating, but let them rattle you, just
keep
going
on with your life like nothing happened.
He
who angers you becomes your master.
Rule
8: Create a life's to do list and follow
thru with it completely and systematically
This
is something you must do. Everyone has
goals for life, I don't care if it's only
4 things, write them down and check them
off.
I
have close to 100 things I want to do
before I do, like learn to speak German,
go to Oktoberfest, things like that.
I
also have more serious things like, Run
the largest publishing company in the
world, which I still quite havn't checked
off yet ;)
Rule
9: Set high goals and standards for your
life and never let anyone compromise them
Rule
10: Always have an open mind and don't
be judgemental
Rule
11: Don't Get Moody With People! - Just
Relax!
Nothing
lowers the level of conversation more
than raising the voice.
Rule
12: You Miss 100% Of The Shots You Don't
Take!
It's
Alright To Have Faults And Be Yourself -
You Have My Permission To Make Mistakes
Like
I said in the above section, I've made mistakes
before and at the time I thought I was the
biggest idiot, but it's all a part of learning
how to be successful with women.
No
one is perfect and it's ok to have quirky
little habits, no woman expects you to be
perfect or a dating robot that knows exactly
what to do at all times.
The
main thing is to make sure it doesn't get
you down and you don't stop trying if you
have a bad experience. Every woman isn't
going to like you and vice versa, but....
You
miss 100% of all shots you don't take!
Chapter
3 - Step 2 Find 3 Online Dating Sites To
Put Your Online Profile On
There
are THOUSANDS of online dating sites out
there, so what one's best for you?
For
starters, the best idea is to cast a wide
net and put your profile on at least 3 online
dating sites.
What
I've been doing recently is I've been putting
my profile on 2 large online dating sites
and one niche dating site.
For
instance right now I'm using Match.com,
Yahoo personals and RSVP.com.au which is
a smaller Australian Internet dating site.
I
usually get a lot more of the women I like
and that are closer to me by using the niche
online dating site, but I get the bulk of
my dates from women on Match.com and Yahoo
personals.
So
what sites should you be using?
I
really recommend you use Match.com as one
of your choices.
Here
are a list of online dating sites I recommend
trying.
Yahoo
Personals Lava Life Adultmatchmaker.com
Eharmony.com - Do the questionaire! Americansingles.com
Adultfriendfinder.com Jdate.com Christiansoulmates.com
Date.com Friendfinder.com Singleparentsmingle.com
Chapter
4 - Step 3
How
To Write A Killer Online Profile With Samples!
The
MOST IMPORTANT aspect of any successful Internet
dating venture is your online profile. Personally,
I use 2 profiles to attract dates.
The
bad boy profile which attracts a certain more
wilder person, and the nice guy profile that
attracts the nice girls you would be proud
to bring home to mother.
Feel
free to steal and change these profiles. What
ever you do, don't just copy them as they
are, it would look stupid seeing hundreds
of profiles online exactly the same, and besides,
you really should put your own personality
into it, as this profile is about you and
not about me.
Of
course, you can use them as is if you want,
but you will get better results if you tweak
them to suit your personality.
If
you are the more cocky and confident person,
use the "bad boy" profile, but make sure you
are the same person online as you are offline
or it will be a waste of time.
You
must also have a photo on your profile! If
they give you room to put up more then one
photo, don't do it, just put one good photo
up of you.
The
Bad Boy Profile
Intro:
Top 10 ways to scare any guy off, including
me, inside
Interests:
Music:
Dance, trance, house, you know what I'm
talking about. Ministry of sound etc. I
also watch Video Hits, so you can rest assure
that I'm up to date with every new rappers
name and criminal record.
Reading:
I read anything I can get my hands on. I
run a publishing company, so I get paid
to read.
Movies:
Comedies! Love a good comedy. Teen comedies.
Anything with breasts. Also anything set
in the 18th and 19th century like Hornblower,
Napoleon and boring crap like that. James
bond!
Sport:
I play professional cricket and basketball/league
for fun. Like extreme sports and paintball.
No, not laser skirmish, ugh. Yes, I'm going
to list going to the gym because I ACTUALLY
do it.
Other
interests: Sitting in my hottub looking
out over the city listening to dance music.
Love to travel, spent 6 months living in
Spain and 2 years living in Perth. Cars,
imports (supra's!) and SUV's.
Profile
Body:
-
Tell him that he looks like your father
-
Tell him that he looks like your mother
8.
Talk about your doll collection in third
person
7.
Talk about your recent hernia operation
6.
Showing him the hernia in a jar
5.
Confessing your love for hitler on the first
date. You should wait at least 2 or 3 dates
for that one.
4.
Talk about your co workers annoying habits
while pinching food off his plate.
3.
Talk about children and marriage on the
first date.
2.
Say you look nothing like your photo after
you sent him a photo of imogen bailey
1.
Last but not least, never say "I've seen
bigger" about any part of his body
Now
if you promise not to talk about these things
send me an email. Be warned I'm not looking
for pen pals. I'm too much fun to be around
to just leave it at writing emails.
Next
week I'll list the top 10 things guys don't
want to hear women say, including my favorite,
"That's not the way my ex did it".
Relationship
sought: Short-term or Long-term Relationship
with a Female
Ideal
partner:
Between
18 and 45 years old
Incredibly
intelligent and amazingly beautiful. Someone
who finds my jokes funny is a plus. No stalkers
or clingy people please, I'm not sure what
I'm looking for, but I know its not that.
Someone who believes anything in life is
possible, because it is!
The
Nice Guy Profile
Intro:
New to the scene..... Interests: Music:
Most types, whatever is good at the
time
Reading: Horror, Drama Movies: Horror, Comedy,
Drama Sport: Swimming, Tennis, Rugby Other
interests: Art Profile Body: I'm an easy
going nice guy, trying to find
the
right person, I enjoy intellectual conversations,
late night beach walks, clubbing, music
of most types, reading,
tennis
and swimming, among other things. Love pets,
dogs and cats mainly, so you would need
to be an animal lover.
I
might party hard, but I also enjoy quiet
nights at home watching a DVD, or doing
things that couples do in their own private
space.
With
that said, I'm the type of guy of both extremes,
so finding someone willing to spend quality
time with has been more difficult then first
thought, hence signing up with this site,
hopefully it works out well???
Relationship
sought: Short-term or Long-term Relationship
with a Male or Female
Ideal
partner:
Between
18 and 35 years old
I'm
looking for someone who is understanding,
uses common sense, someone who is confident
in themself and knows where they're going
in life, and are happy with that direction.
Age doesn't mean that much to me, as long
as there is a connection, building rapport
between one another is important.
A
Profile For The Older Gent Or Men Who Want
To Attract Younger Women
Intro:
A stick insect walks into a bar... Interests:
Music:
club mixes, trance, ministry of sound stuff
and old stuff , rolling stones, acdc, 80's.
Fav track at the moment is scott bond vs
solarstone 3rd earth remix. Reading: yes,
i can read. that's why i buy those magazines,
for the articles. Not the pictures, i swear.
Movies:
lord of the rings trilogy, matrix..first
two, third was...disappointing. arthouse.
subtitles don't scare me and we've already
established that i can read. Currently hooked
on Asian martial arts movies tho the only
thing i know about 'kung fu' is how to spell
it.
Sport:
Not so much sport as fitness, gym, bike,
run, kayak, ill have a go at most things.
Also follow motorsport (mostly bikes) and
golf. And, in a reversal of male / female
stereotypes, you go to the footy, I'll stay
home and watch the grass grow.
Other
interests: many and varied. you should ask
me.
Profile
Body:
I
figure talking to yourself is acceptable
but talking to yourself in a pirates voice
probably isn't. I started doing that today
and i figure i need to get out more and
meet some people before i topple over the
brink into complete madness. Don't be alarmed
thou, all the sharp utensils are under lock
and key.
OK,
i realise this profile tends more toward
the humourous rather than the serious which
i guess is indicative of my personality
so here are some details which might help
to round out the picture.
I
work as a paid firefighter, a job i love
and have been doing for over 155 years.
Days off are spent keeping fit, reading,
going to the movies, riding bikes...both
mountain and motor and, of course, looking
for my favourite hat.
I
have a large family whom i see fairly often
but not often enough. I grew up in the country
(or should i say i got older in the country)
but, after 20 years in melbourne, any trace
of the "country boy" is well and truely
gone.
Whilst
I have your attention, can you please be
who, and what, you say you are in your profile.
Ideal partner:
Between
25 and 42 years old , at most 5'7"/170 cm
from AUSTRALIA
Hmmmmmm,
Fit, fun, confident, adventurous, young
or young at heart and can tell me where
i left my favourite hat. It's gotta be around
here somewhere. Oh, on the off chance you
do feel sufficiently inspired to send me
a kiss, please include your photo password
if applicable ;-)
Chapter
5 - Step 4: Learn To Write Effective Email
Followups
Ok,
so you're online, you're searching for profiles
of other women and you find a few you want
to email, what next?
The
first email is crucial. You have to remember,
women are getting sometimes hundreds of
emails a day, so you have to stand out straight
away!
Just
like in marketing, your headline should
be eye grabbing!
The
best way to do this is to mention something
about her profile in your headline. I've
made the mistake of writing things like
"hey there" in the subject heading and it's
really not a good idea.
If
in the photo she puts on her profile, she's
wearing something unique comment on it.
Example
Subject Headings
Where
did you get that necklace from?
I
don't think you're going to like me....
That
top you are wearing is....
You're
lucky I emailed you!
etc....
Things
like that get a womans attention when she's
reading her email.
Thats
the first mistake most people make, the
second one is they write too much in their
first email! They write a whole life story.
Just keep it short and sweet.
Here
is an example first email I use.
Heya,
If
you want to have an enthralling chat/get
to know me better my msn address is myemailaddress@here.com
so that's the place to do it, or even better,
over a crownie or 3 :) I live in Robertson,
near sunnybank plaza/garden city.
I'm
off to try and find a place that does a
decent oysters kilpatrick, so have a good
night.
Cheers
your
name, your profile id name
P.S.
make a funny comment here about her profile/suggest
if she doesn't have msn to either download
it or buy you a beer and meet up instead.
Notice
I don't try and get an email relationship
happening, you need to hook your date quickly.
You
need to get from one step to the other quickly.
If
she emails you back and says she doesn't
have msn or any instant chat device, ask
her for her phone number.
It's
that simple. Don't become email buddies!
Chapter
6 - Step 5: Learn How To Use Instant Messaging
With Success
Ok,
so you've got the girl on msn or ICQ or
whatever you want to use, what next? Chatting
online is the best way to work on chatting
to women without the fear of being nervous
or making a fool of yourself in public.
Just have fun and go with the flow.
Don't
bog the conversation down with general chit
chat. Talking about the weather, what she
does for a living are things you can talk
about when you're dating.
The
idea of chatting online is to get the girls
phone number and move to the next step.
Here
is a sample conversation I had with a girl
very recently after moving her from email
to msn....
Me:
hey stinky, how goes it Her: I do no stink
Her: I'm good, feelin better Her: And u?
Me: Much better Me: So when are you going
to buy me that
beer?
Me: I'm busy this weekend and I want to
make
sure
you are completely over your cold so you
don't infect me by sitting to close to me.
Her: hahah, I won't infect you promise!
Me: Give me your mobile # and I'll give
you a
call
when I'm not busy, I want to make sure you're
really not a 59 year old man, who's overweight.
Her:
Oh yah, because being overweight would
make
all the difference. Me: Stop stalling and
give me the digits.... :P
Her:
Ok, (number here), just don't stalk me.
Me:
No worries about that, it's my week off.
Ne way, gotta run, I'll ring you when I'm
free.
And
that is how it's done my friends.
Chapter
7 - Step 6: Learn How To Use The Phone With
Success
93%
of all communication is done with your voice
tone and body language. If you ring up a
woman asking for a date and you sound like
mickey mouse and are all nervous, you've
blown it straight away, no questions asked.
Again,
the idea of using the phone is to get the
date, not to have a general chit chat. Most
guys have this habit of speaking for ages
on the phone and not getting to the point.
Before
you ring, think about what you are going
to say, how you are going to say it and
what you are going to say if she throws
a curve ball at you.
Go
into the phone call with a plan, think about
what you are going to say and you will be
fine. Too many people fear confrontation,
just ask for the date and if she says no,
she says no, just move on.
If
you don't get a returned call you should
probably move on, happy that you didn't
waste another moment with a rude jerk.
If,
on the other hand you're the adventurous
type, you can try this. Call the person
up, but don't leave messages on their answering
machine or voice mail. Wait for the person
to answer.
Just
so you know, phones these days usually tell
people who has called, hungup, when and
how many times, so please dont ring 50 times
a day, because more then likely they will
know you were doing it and it looks a bit
stalkerish.
If
after you called a few times over a few
days and no one picks up, leave a short,
funny message about not being able to get
a hold of her and she can ring you back.
Chapter
8 - Step 7: Meet Up For The First Time And
Be
Confident!
So
you've got the date but you have no idea
where you are going to go on your first
date?
The
best date in my opinion goes as follows.
You
ring up the girl, tell her to meet you at
your favorite cafe or bar for a quick drink.
Chat
for an hour or so, call it a night, go home.
That's
what works for me and for every guy I know
who is good with dating.
Guys
try and impress to hard on first dates and
take them to the most expensive restaurants
and buy them fancy dinners.
If
end up spending more then $20 on a date,
its too much. I can remember the best date
of my life I brought 2 beers and she brought
a wine and that was it.
We
chatted for an hour or so, I ended the night
and went home.
Make
sure you never let your first dates go for
too long, I never let them go over 2 hours
and most only last an hour or so.
It's
not about how long you spend on the date
or how much money you spend, its about the
impression you leave on the girl.
If
you are funny and confident and the girl
has a blast, all you need is an hour.
Yes,
I've taken girls home after a first date
like this, but I don't recommend it.
Like
I said in the previous chapter, body language
and voice tone are so important when dating.
You want to speak with confidence, walk
with confidence and BE confident.
Here
are a few tips I use.
-Do
everything slowly
What
I mean by that is don't look like your panicked
or in a rush. Make every movement deliberate
and cool.
-Walk
slowly and upright
When
you're walking, always walk with your shoulders
back and slowly. Stand upright with good
posture and stick your chest out and look
around like you own the place.
-When
sitting, lean back in your chair
Don't
lean right forward and smother the girl,
give her space, lean right back and look
like you're too comfortable.
-Maintain
eye contact and never mumble
Always
look at her in the eyes when you're talking
and never mumble or cover your mouth when
you speak.
Here
are more date ideas if you must do something
other then a quick drink
Take
a drive down to the beach and walk and talk.
It's a cheap date and a good way to find
out about the other person.
Ring
up your local pool hall, find out when its
the quietest and go have a game of pool
together.
Go
to mini golf. The beauty of mini golf is
there will be a lot of other couples around
as well and families, so it makes for a
comfortable setting.
Take
your date to a concert. If you've been friends
with this person for a while, you'll know
what he or she likes and you can work on
that. If you don't know the person well,
Take
your date on a picnic by the water. Make
sure there are plenty of rest rooms and
shelter around just in case.
Go
to the casino. This is not everyone's cup
of tea, but what could be more exciting
then winning big. They will never forget
it.
Go
go-karting. This is a great way to find
out if your date will try just about anything
once.
Take
your date golfing. Find a local golf course
that caters to beginners and do only 9 holes.
Go
to the golf driving range. This is probably
a better idea then golfing, it's cheaper,
shorter in time and more fun.
Have
your palms read. Most women find this sort
of thing very interesting.
Take
a limo ride around the city. To find the
best deals, use the Internet to find local
companies with websites.
Go
to a roof top or revolving restaurant. Eating
outdoors always makes things more memorable,
just remember to make a booking first.
Go
to a day spa together and get a massage.
Go on the Internet to find the best deals.
Go
hot air balooning. Probably not the ideal
first date as it's a little expensive and
hot air balooning is done very early in
the morning.
Go
on a lunch date. Perfect idea if you work
together, just make sure your date knows
it's a date and not a friendly outing.
Go
to a local museum. The most popular types
of museums are the interactive types, with
displays, not things like art galleries.
If
your date is the sporting type, take her
to a local sporting event. You could even
go to a college game.
If
you know how to ride a motorbike, take your
date for a ride somewhere scenic or at nightime
in the city.
Go
to the batting cages. Not everyone's idea
of a great date, but you'll soon find out
if your date is easy going or high matainence.
Frisbee
golf is another date idea that will certainly
tell you what type of person you are dating.
If you are not sure what frisbee
golf
is, go to google.com and look it up, it's
a lot of fun.
Go
to your local jazz club and relax. Everyone
loves jazz.
Go
to the zoo. Most zoo's have nigh time exhibits
or exhibits out of the norm for people to
see.
Go
to the local fair. Every year we have a
local fair where I live that has show bags,
rides etc.
Getting
up early and going to the flea markets is
a very cheap and fun date. If you are not
big on sitting down and talking, this is
the date for you.
Take
your date for dinner on the boardwalk. Very
romantic!
Chapter
9 - Step 8: Control The Pace Of The Relationship
Girls
have a tendency to be their own worst enemy
when it comes to killing attraction. If
a girl had a really great time with you,
she will ring you constantly, but it's your
job as the man to control the relationship.
You
don't have to pick up the phone everytime
she rings you know.
Talking
to each other constantly will ruin the attraction
when you first start dating.
Here
is what I do after a good date.
I
ring her the next day, tell her I had a
great, hope she did too, make some sort
of funny comment, and go, "well, I gotta
go, I'm pretty busy, so have fun, bye".
As
you noticed, I didn't ask for a second date
straight off the bat. I want her wondering
about me for a while, building anticipation.
I don't want to come across as needy and
desperate.
Don't
text her, don't email her, don't talk to
her on msn, icq and don't ring her for a
few days, then out of the blue, ask her
for a second date.
If
she rings you, you can pick up and go I'm
kinda busy right now, and can't talk, so
why don't we meet up, Tuesday next week
at this place.
She
basically did the asking out for you by
ringing back and you don't come off as needy
and desperate because you make it look like
it was her idea!
Never
see a girl more then 2 times a week when
you are first dating for the first few months
and you should be dating other women.
Chapter
10 - Step 9: Date Multiple Women
Most
men think that dating multiple women at
the same time is a wrong thing to do and
it's cheating. They couldn't be farther
from the truth my friend.
Men
think this because women have told them
that guys who date other girls at the same
time are scum, yet they continue to date
them....
I'm
not talking about sleeping with millions
of women every week, I'm talking about going
out and having fun and meeting new people
in a friendly enviroment.
If
a woman says after a few dates, I think
we should date exclusively, you have to
ask yourself if that's what you want, do
you want a relationship, because that is
pretty much what she is asking.
Just
be honest with everyone you date from day
one and there will be no problems what so
ever if you want to date multiple women
at the same time.
Just
don't cheat on someone if you said you would
date them exclusively, don't be a jerk and
treat women badly, just be honest and have
fun and they will respect you for it.
Bonus
Article 1: How To Beat Shyness By Special
Guest Author Peter Murphy Of HowToTalkWithConfidence.com
Even
the most confident people have situations
that cause them to be shy. Even famous personalities
and very successful business people experience
shyness at times. (if only they knew the best
ways to overcome shyness) Shyness is nothing
to be ashamed of and you can overcome it when
you learn the right way to go about it. The
problem is that you have not been exposed
to accurate, proven ways to deal with shyness.
Shyness
can be defined as having difficulty creating
a rapport with other people. For many people,
shyness can mean having a hard time thinking
of things to say in a social setting. For
others it can include physical symptoms of
apprehension.
For
most people, it involves a combination of
the two. Social behaviors that come easily
to the average person such as smiling, making
conversation, maintaining eye contact, and
a relaxed posture are extremely difficult
for the shy person to achieve.
Making
friends and attending social functions may
seem like a nightmare to a shy person. No
one
wants to stand in the corner alone, but a
shy person may lack the ability to approach
new people.
You
can learn how to overcome shyness and build
confidence by developing new habits and social
skills. Shy people may have to exert a large
amount of effort in order to start a conversation
or attend a party. Determination is a key
factor in learning how to overcome shyness.
5
Ways To Overcome Shyness:
-
Some of the components of shyness are
lack of self-confidence and anxiety around
others, difficulty carrying on a conversation,
and a lack of knowledge about the expected
behavior in social situations.
- Shy
people can be very intimidated by people
in general. Learning how to overcome shyness
may seem like an insurmountable task,
but help is available to you through several
sources.
-
You must first determine why you are shy.
There are always underlying reasons for
the way a person reacts in certain situations.
Next, try behaving in a confident manner
in private and practice until you begin
to see results in public. Walk confidently
and speak firmly and soon you'll find
yourself behaving the same confident way
in social settings. As ridiculous as it
may seem, forcing yourself to act as if
you are not shy can be
- very
helpful in learning how to overcome shyness
altogether.
-
One way to boost your self-confidence
is to always look your best. Looking great
makes you feel great and does wonders
for your self-esteem.
- Reduce
your fear of rejection by always imagining
the worst outcome possible in every social
situation. Then if the outcome is less
traumatic than you imagine, you won't
dwell on the rejection near as much. Observing
strangers and acquaintances and how they
relate to others can be a great tool in
learning how to overcome shyness.
-
If you are having difficulty overcoming
shyness, join clubs or go to events that
interest you. It's a lot more comfortable
to engage in conversations with those
who have common interests.
- The
initial conversation will be much easier
since you'll already have a topic of conversation
that interests you both.
-
If you do not have the confidence to approach
someone new, then smile and try to be approachable.
Most people are receptive to a smile and
a friendly face.
You
could also consider taking someone that you
are comfortable with along to lessen your
anxiety. Shy people are extremely reluctant
to take the risk of approaching new people.
If
you want to learn how to overcome shyness,
you may have to make an effort to be outgoing
initially, but soon your new habits will become
natural and easy.
There
are numerous resources available to you if
you need help overcoming shyness. Professional
advice and tips on how to overcome shyness
can be very beneficial if you are having difficulty
taking that first step.
Bonus
Article 2: How To Walk With Confidence By
Special Guest Author Sherri L Dodd Of
MomLooksGreat.com
A
few days back, in the midst of my chaotic
holiday shopping excursion, I decided to take
refuge in a pleasant nook of the mall. While
gathering my thoughts, I was presented with
the resonance of a confident woman. Her black
leather heeled boots well preceded her appearance.
Once
in view, I would guess she was mid- fifties,
dressed in form fitting jeans and a flashy,
collared blouse. Her boots allowed a couple
extra inches on her 5’2” height.
She came and went in a flurry with the other
holiday shoppers, but her essence lingered
on beyond the completion of my rest period.
I wondered what beliefs in herself did this
woman
have to carry herself such an assured manner.
Out
of curiosity, how do you feel when you see
another woman walking confidently past you?
I am sure that you have had privy to a similar
scene - she is taking long strides with her
shoulders back and chin up as she strolls
on down the way.
Sometimes
you may think she is attractive (but don’t
want to admit it), other times you may think
‘what the heck is she so proud of?’
Does it ever irritate you that another woman
might think that she is…as my little
sister says…”All That”?
Confidence
in one’s appearance does not equate
to vanity, nor does it equate to being condescending
or arrogant. In fact, confidence is something
that we, as moms and aging women, should all
indulge in on a frequent basis. When we learn
to look into ourselves to find what is right
with us, we will begin to find the same steadfast
gait within ourselves.
Instead
of becoming irritated with those who exude
confidence, we will begin to relate to the
feeling. To reiterate a popular cliché,
when our faces are toward the sunshine, we
will not see the shadows. This can be likened
to finding happiness within ourselves instead
of pointing shameful fingers at unsuspecting
passer-bys.
Building
confidence can start with achievement. When
was the last time you made a goal and stuck
to it? I would like to believe that near the
top of your list is the ideal of being fit
and healthy. Let’s take this one and
run with it.
When
I wrote Mom Looks Great, I wanted the moms
who participated in the fitness program to
have the option of this same confident walk
as well as many other benefits upon the completion
of Phase III, if not throughout the entire
process and well into the maintenance stage.
I wanted the reader’s kids to notice
that their Mom looks great! I wanted ‘dad’
or ‘significant other’ to acknowledge
- “Yeah…Mom does looks great!”
So what aside from the body does that “looks
great” phrase entail?
Looking
great is also the spirit within you that transcends
your superficial flesh. It is your aura, your
charisma and your soul. This is why exercise
and nutrition play such a vital role in helping
you achieve your goal of looking great.
When
you begin a healthy fitness program you begin
to look great even before the weight drops
and the muscles tone.
When
you live this lifestyle, the changes began
almost immediately! You will begin to sleep
better at night (diminishing dark circles
under the eyes), you will have more energy
in the following days (gone are the tired
grimaces when someone initiates
movement)
and deep inside your brain, the endorphins
are throwing a jubilant celebration (therein
lies your improved moods).
This
is also what ‘looks great’ has
to offer. The resulting weight loss and muscle
tonality will come, but long after you already
have a shine to your skin and a feel-good
smile on your face. Even in these early stages
people will begin to notice.
So
then what do you do with the flattering comments
people begin to give to you? When someone
says you look great, do you graciously accept
the compliment or do you find an excuse to
deflect it? Even in our worst moments, a stray
compliment could find its way to us and we
need to be prepared to accept it with enthusiasm.
From
this day forward, every compliment you receive
YOU MUST accept with a smile and a thank you.
After reading this article you are no longer
allowed to counter compliments with self-putdowns
such as “Ugh, [this excuse that you
are wrong]” or “Oh, [I know you
don’t mean that]”.
Remember
that looking great is not always about the
perfect body, the sharpest clothes or the
healthiest hair. It is how you are perceived
by those around you. Take your compliment
and use it as a building block to your confidence.
Thinking
back to the unknown female with the self-assured
walk, how could you attain that same confidence?
Begin with keeping your thoughts focused on
your goals and the optimism of attaining them.
Follow
it up with exercise and nutrition on a consistent
basis and top it off with the sheer acceptance
of all compliments, whether you feel they
are justifiable or not. Feel proud about strutting
your self wherever you may be. Sure, some
people may feel irritated just like you once
may have been, but some will think that mom
looks great.
In
the end, feel happy for the woman who can
convey confidence. You never know the trials
she has endured in her life.
Whether
she nearly folded from a devastating divorce,
endured painful suffering from a terrible
disease or even struggled for years to lose
a detrimental amount of body fat.
Whatever
her story, she finally feels a sense of victory.
And, unbeknownst to you, inside she has also
probably gained a true inner beauty that is
evident only by those who know her well.
Bonus
Ebook: Keeping Up With Whats Cool
This
is the bonus book that comes with "How A Pasty
White Computer Nerd Got 14 Hot Dates In 47
Days With Online Dating".
In
this short guide I'm going to show you a few
things that will get you up to speed with
what's cool right now if you're not sure yourself.
So
let's begin.
Clothing
I
have what I call first date shirts. Shirts
that I always wear when I'm going on a date
with a girl in a casual location. (Which
I suggest you do! Nothing fancy!)
You
can view some of the shirts I own by following
the links below.
These
shirts look great with cargo pants and a
hat, or with a long sleeved shirt underneath.
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Dating
Ideas